aspiring servant

Moving

2012-02-26T21:17:00.002-08:00

Hey there.

So, after contemplating and planning a bit, I've decided to move my blog over to aspiringservant.com.

It's definitely in Phase 1. But, over the next month or so, I'll be updating and revising it...

... to Phase TWO...

... and finalizing the changes, modifications, etc. that I want to incorporate.

Hopefully it will be more user-friendly for you guys... and give you more capacity to share, follow by e-mail and so forth.

Anyway. Let me know what you think. And, if there's anything you definitely want to see as the final phase is developed and completed.

Blessings to you, my friend, for walking life with me.

New site to bookmark is here >>> aspiringservant.com

Trust and Thankfulness

2012-02-26T10:38:00.002-08:00

Trust and thankfulness will get you safely through this day. Trust protects you from worrying and obsessing. Thankfulness keeps you from criticizing and complaining: those “sister sins” that so easily entangle you.

Keeping your eyes on Me is the same thing as trusting Me. It is a free choice that you must make thousands of times daily. The more you choose to trust Me, the easier it becomes. Thought patterns of trust become etched into your brain. Relegate troubles to the periphery of your mind, so that I can be central in your thoughts. Thus you focus on Me, entrusting your concerns into My care.

So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.

—Colossians 2:6–7

But my eyes are fixed on you, O Sovereign Lord; in you I take refuge—do not give me over to death.

—Psalm 141:8

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

—1 Peter 5:7

(From Jesus Calling, February 21 entry)

music | the language of souls

2012-02-16T06:00:00.000-08:00

When I was in Eastern Europe this summer, I found myself wandering the aisles of a store. I looked at little things here and there, calculating the price of this or that. In one such store, I found an aisle of school supplies. They had little notebooks for students that were arranged in a neat order. Some where intended for writing. Others were intended for science and math. And, of course, there were notebooks for music.

I pulled two of the music notebooks off the shelf and added them to the items that I wanted to purchase.

Music. You see, it would have made sense if I was considered a musical person. Or perhaps if I was learning a musical instrument. Yet, if asked, the answer for both of those would have been a negative. No doubt that would have created confusion as to why I was purchasing them.

And, to be honest, I'm not sure why but perhaps for a deep, deep hope that I had a bit of rhythm and rhyme somewhere in my soul.

The honest truth is that I can't whistle. I can't read music. I can't sing nor play a single instrument.

But, I still hope. I still hope because when I listen to music I feel the heart and soul in it. I am carried away by the story, the words between the lines and the feelings not just of the one mentioned in the song but of the writer and composer behind the music.

The little music notebook from Bucharest lies on my bookshelf. I picked it up tonight and opened to the first page.

The first two pages are covered in musical notes. The day before I left, I sat with a young gypsy girl on the edge of a bed as she carefully and thoughtfully wrote out the music to two songs that were familiar in the local gypsy church. Nearly flawless, this twelve-year-old sketched out a treasure for me. On the pages are not only the notes to the songs, but they are pieces of a memory, of a summer, of a people that I hold close to my soul.

As I look over the notes, my heart wishes it spoke the written language of music. Instead, I understand a bit of the spoken language - but not enough. As I run my fingers over the pages, as if somehow I'd magically understand them, I am determined that some day I will master this unknown language and get a glimpse inside the world of music.

to my someday man

2012-02-14T19:00:00.000-08:00

dear you,

it's that day - you know, the one where everyone talks about who they love and what they've done for each other. i think it's sweet to hear sweet nothings passed back and forth, to watch expressions of love shared and see hopes displayed as people dream forward.

you know, it's days like today that i think of you more often. you. my someday man.

it isn't that i have you all figured out or what you'll do or how you look. in fact, it's nothing close to that.

you see, love, when i think of you, my thoughts turn into prayers. and when i pray for you, my heart grows.

my prayer is that God will meet you right where you're at and that you will become kingdom-minded in all you do. that however life is hitting right now, you'll get a glimpse of eternity and that you'll keep pushing forward.

my prayer is that you will be sensitive to His voice and that your life is lived from a posture of obedience. i know obedience isn't always easy. especially when God asks us to step up and step out. trust Him. He's got you.

my prayer is that God will fill you with wisdom and knowledge. not only for the task set in front of you right now, but for someday when you will lead our family. you will be entrusted by God with the hearts and souls of our children. He will equip you.

my prayer is that your heart will be for the prodigals of this world and that starting right where you stand to wherever God takes you, you will be faithful in speaking truth and bringing hope in this dark world. this world needs you and God will use you.

my prayer is for you, love.

so while everyone seems to look for a sappy, silly love letter on days like today... i really just wanted to let you know that even though you're still someday away, i'm praying for you.

with all my heart.
love. always.

Growth | Trees and Roots

2012-02-12T22:18:00.000-08:00

Yesterday afternoon I made my way to a quaint little coffee shop where two friends were hanging out, drinking coffee and writing. It was a bit of a melancholy day and the coffee shop scene was just want I needed.

I joined the girls, waved to another friend I saw across the way and settled in with a yummy, creamy chai in hand.

Stories were swapped back and forth. Girl stuff. Heart issues. You know, the usual.

One of the girls had to go. We said our goodbyes - thankful for the brief catch up and check in with each other.

I looked at my watch. I only had a few minutes too before I had to leave.

"You know," she said, beginning to telling me what her small community church is learning right now.

We then spent the next few minutes talk about what they are learning and focusing on right now. Growth.

Her illustration and stories resonated with me. We're always growing, but sometimes it doesn't feel like it or it's tough.

She reiterated the known truth that we are like a tree - we grow up and we grow down.

There's a growth that happens when we are in the Word, in fellowship, in community and throughout life that is seen. The growth is evident to those around us. And, while it can be hard or come with growing pains, it's a good and necessary growth.

But, there's also another type of growth. A growth downward. It's a harder , more difficult growth. Sometimes life hits hard. It brings challenges. It's shakes a bit. Life feels hopeless. Things don't go as they should. These seasons of struggles grow us downward. They take our roots deep and establish them firmly.

The interesting thing is that for any growth up, we must have first grow down. If our roots are deep, our capacity to grow up is great. But, if we lack depth, we won't be able to survive the upward growth in our lives.

I don't know where you're at right now. I'm not sure if life is easy or hard. I don't know if you feel hopeful or hopeless. But, regardless of all that, remember that God is cultivating and growing you. It may be up. And, if it's up, be thankful for the work He is doing in and through you. Or it may be down. And, if it's down and difficult, remember that He's establishing your roots deep so that your upward growth can be great. Either way - whether you are growing up or growing down, you can always trust Jesus, you can always bank on Him and you can always rest in knowing He's got you.

~ ~ ~

How blessed is the man who

does not walk in the counsel of the wicked,

Nor stand in the path of sinners,

Nor sit in the seat of scoffers!

But his delight is in the law of the LORD,

And in His law he meditates day and night.

He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water,

Which yields its fruit in its season

And its leaf does not wither;

And in whatever he does, he prospers.

The wicked are not so,

But they are like chaff which the wind drives away.

Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,

Nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous.

For the LORD knows the way of the righteous,

But the way of the wicked will perish.

Psalm 1

I don't understand...

2012-01-23T20:22:00.000-08:00

There are somethings in life that I just simply do not understand. As the Lord stretches me, shows me more of the world and takes me deeper into His heart, I find that there are things of this world that perplex me even more.

~~~~~

I just read a book on children living in the slums and streets of India. Children that are abandoned by parents because their livelihood and chances of survival are greater if they are picked up by an organization in the big cities. Yet, a lot of them find themselves bought and sold into child slavery. They're found used and abused by people who breath and bleed evil. If they get one full meal in a day, they are doing well.

Yet, I don't understand...

why we overindulge our children

with toys and things --

inadvertently we teach them

that there is happiness and contentment

found in what we have.

The night that I arrived in Haiti, a truck driving down one of the main streets lost its brakes. The truck barreling down the street, hit vendors along the side of the road trying to make a livelihood, killing over 30 people.

Yet, I don't understand...

why we get impatient or agitated with people

who cut us off when we drive down

our safe and well structured roads.

This is a picture from a friend of mine from Uganda who went to Kenya on a mission trip. Words are not necessary. I believe the picture is self-explanatory of the suffering and hardship endured.

Yet, I don't understand...

how we complain and throw

a fit when the barista at our

usual Starbucks doesn't make

our drink exactly as we'd like.

~~~~~

The list really goes on and on. And, quite frankly, it breaks my heart. I don't understand how we can live so selfishly without a thought or care for our brothers and sisters suffering around the world. I don't understand how we aren't moved with compassion in the same way that Jesus was moved with compassion. I don't understand indifference to suffering or excessive indulgence. I don't understand the church hesitating in being the one who brings hope in both word and deed to the world. I don't understand the lack of compassion and empathy. I don't understand the lack of urgency of the Gospel.

Sometimes everything feels so backwards.

Sometimes, you know, I just don't understand.

Quotes from "No Longer A Slumdog"

2012-01-22T22:30:00.000-08:00

God is able to work amazing transformation in lives...

The reason for such brutality, pain, abuse and all suffering is, in a word, sin.

The biggest disease of today is not leprosy or tuberculosis, but rather the feeling of being unwanted.

God still works through us to carry out His will.

Although God is fully capable of accomplishing all He desires on His own, He still uses us in His incredible work.

We know the cries of these little children ascend day and night to heaven and that God knows their suffering. There is nothing on earth God is not aware of.

He knows all these children personally.

You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving.

Our riches do not determine our eternal destination.

Your inward heart will be displayed outwardly through your generosity.

The inward heart of Cornelius, the devout, God-fearing part, was displayed outwardly in his generosity.

The Lord is looking for those who will share His heart.

... a divine passion for them, a heavenly desire for their well-being...

In the midst of His busy ministry, Jesus stopped everything He was doing to show these children His love and interest (Mark 10:14).

...the pain and passion our Lord carries in His heart for the forgotten children in the villages and slums of these poor and destitute nations.

Are we willing to have our hearts break with His at such sights?

We are commanded to reach out to the least of these in the name of Jesus.

Let's not devote our energies into trinkets and mindless self-indulgence that have no eternal value, but instead learn to invest in these children God cares about so much.

We are sent into the world to show His love, but we cannot show His love until we have His heart.

The only weapon that will ever effectively will the war against disease, hunger, injustice and poverty is the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

We must never minister to someone's physical needs at the expense of preaching Christ.

Psalm 2 tells us to ask for the nations and He will give them to us.

If we follow His instructions, we will see millions find hope.

The knowledge that He loved us stabilized our lives and prepared us to face the future.

If we bring these children the message of God's love for them, teaching them that they have great value in His eyes and are not limited by the caste into which they were born, they will be enabled to do great things with their lives.

God knows. He hears. He sees their pain.

It is so important that we do not look at the physical assistance alone as "fulfilling" the Great Commission. If our goal is simply to improve people's outward status without touching their soul, then we are no different than any of the hundreds of other relief organizations out there.

How beautifully simple the faith of children - God said it, so it must be true. Children learn by the example they see. When given a good example to follow, they will take it and run with it.

"Really, it's amazing to speak with the Creator of all! When we pray to Jesus, we feel good in our hearts."

As followers of Christ, we must respond while we can.

When harvest time comes, no one goes on vacation. No one says, "Let's go away for a month and enjoy life; then we'll come back and do the work." Why? Because within a few weeks time, the rain will begin to fall. The season will change, and the entire harvest will be destroyed if it is not brought in. We must never say, "Later... tomorrow... next month... two years from now I'll be a part of the harvest..." The opportunity will be gone.

Live simply so that others might simply live.

Go before the Lord. He will tell you what to do.

Once in a while God tries to break into our normal lives and tell us something important. He brings a matter to our attention that tears at our hearts, maybe even brings us to our knees. But then, sadly, so often that is all that happens. Although it consumes us for a little while and we can't stop thinking about it, eventually we start to explore something else and forget.

Christ was the One who saw the multitudes and wept.

Don't get so involved in today's trivia that you forget eternity awaits us all.

It's for Jesus' sake that we act. It is in His name that we sacrifice.

We shall have all eternity to celebrate the victories, but we have only the few hours before sunset in which to win them.

Live in the light of eternity.

Just One of Those Days

2012-01-12T00:30:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was just one of those days.

It started off with waking up at 4:30am. Wide awake.

Something didn't settle well in my soul.

The morning moved forward like I was running in knee-deep mud.

A text message came in from a friend that I hadn't heard from for quite a while.

"How can I pray for you today?"

Lord, what's going on? I quietly asked. Something was going on. I think.

The day moved forward. Still slow. Still off kilt for some unknown reason.

I listened to a friend sharing. He read from Romans 5, verses 1-5.

The latter three verses resonated in my soul.

tribulations > perseverance > character > hope

Something was definitely up. I still didn't know what it was, but something was stirring in my soul.

I wrapped up my tasks at my desk and left for the office for the day.

As I drove, my phone vibrated. A text message had come in.

It read: "Come to Me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light. Matthew 11:28-30."

By the time the last text message had come in, I was listening. Carefully.

What are you saying, Lord? I asked, searching for a clue.

The weight my spirit felt at 4:30am eased by the end of the day. My soul was hypersensitive toward the Lord, leaning in and listening for what He may be saying. I never felt like I nailed down the reason behind this offset day.

But, I saw God slip in at the right time in the right way EVEN though I didn't entirely know what was playing out. So, by the end of the day, I found rest for my soul. Exactly as Jesus said I would.

12 for 12

2012-01-01T01:55:00.000-08:00

Last year, I wrote 11 for 11. It's time to carry on the tradition with 12 for 12.

I just got "home" to the house where I'm house sitting. It's quiet... so I found a cozy spot on the couch with a lamp to light my corner of the room. The evening ended with a houseful of friends, some pyrotechnics and the arrival of twenty-twelve. A new year... where we welcome something new into our lives and grow from the things from this passing year.

So, here it is... this year's twelve.

1. be more creative

2. continue learning romanian

3. visit a new continent

4. memorize more Scripture

5. read (at least) a book a month

6. start a business

7. learn how to dance

8. give generously

9. hand off blessings to others

10. write with getting published in mind

11. escape on adventures with friends

12. step out deeper into the heart of God

Happy New Year, my friends!

P.S. Here are a couple other 12 for 12:

Life at the Turn

Anna Phou

Run with the Vision

2011-12-30T07:30:00.000-08:00

Butseek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will beadded to you.

Matthew6:33

I was at a favorite coffee shop with a couple friends. Our conversations at one point headed toward relationships. Writing about life and love has brought a lot of similar conversations up. Interestingly enough, each conversation I have with someone is usually about a different aspect of it (whether it's just be posted, in draft format on my laptop or yet to be touched). And, such was this conversation.

My friend leaned forward. "So, it really comes down to vision, doesn't it?" he said. I took a deep breath and said yes. We had been chatting about the "lists" idea. Sometimes I'm told that I'm picky about my someday guy. But, really... my list is incredibly short compared to many other women I know. There are three things... tall, loves Jesus and shared vision. My friend across the table got it. The height and relationship with Jesus were absolutes... and, really, vision is too as it will impact and influence the direction God will take the two of us as well as the generations beyond us.

Similarities were always important... but I never gave too much thought toward vision until a year and a half ago when the Lord started talking to me about the vision He had in mind for my life. As I moved toward the vision He had been preparing me for and growing me in, I realized that it's so important to share that vision with my someday man.

It wasn't to be that I did this and he did that... and we were married in between. No, rather it was I'm moving in this direction that God has called me. You're moving in the direction that God's called you. It's the same direction. It's the same vision. And, together we could be that much more dynamic and impacting for the Lord and His Kingdom than separately.

My pastor, John Mark, simply states it, "Marriage is about mission." Adam needed help on his mission. Eve was created to help Adam.

God wants us to live with a vision, purpose and knowledge of what He wants. A man needs to have a mission. Wives need to be by their husband's side helping with his mission.

The pursuit of marriage should not be happiness. It's should be about holiness. What if God's ultimate agenda for your marriage was to be holy, not necessarily happy?

Remember... Your life doesn't begin on the day you get married. Your life begins when you give your heart to the Lord.

What is your vision?

What is the mission that God has called you to? Are you living there? Or are you dragging your feet in resistance hoping to find a spouse first before following your calling? What if your spouse doesn't carry the same vision?

If you aren't sure what God's called you to, before you get a spouse or in a serious relationship, seek Him on the vision and calling He has over you. Know where He's calling you first. Live your life undivided, passionate and devoted to Him. Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness... then all these things will be added unto you.

Find your vision. Know your calling.

Run with it.

When you know, you know. Right? When you know what God's called you to, run with it. Don't let anyone talk you out of what God's talked you into. Not even yourself! It's easy to talk yourself out of hard, difficult or challenging things. There are sacrifices involved. There are choices to be made.

Sometimes I'm told that I'm way too busy that no guy could ever catch up with me. Well, not really true. I can amazingly reschedule anything if it's the right guy... but all fun and jokes aside. The guy that I want to marry isn't that sit at home type. If I sit at home and he doesn't, we'll never cross paths. If he sits at home and I don't, again it would result in miss connections. Now I usually tell people that the guy I'm marrying is out there... if I don't go, I'll never meet him.

Run with the vision God's given you. And, trust Him with it.

Choose wisely.

We live in a culture that is privileged to choose love. Most of the world learns to love. Know the direction you are heading. The vision God's given. Run with it in such a way to win. Choose within a shared vision God's given both of you. Keep the next generation in mind too - you should want your children to grow up on the mission of God with their eyes wide open to the Kingdom of God. If you and your someday spouse share a vision, you're living example and testimony to your own children will be one of the most impacting things in their lives.

So choose wisely, my friends.

Don't Xerox It.

So often I think people misinterpret that share vision finding someone just like you. Not so! In fact, gifts, skills and ways of doing things may be completely different, yet fall under the same vision. I like to think of it as two people under a shared umbrella. The umbrella covers them both. Yet, they are two different people.

Push in... to the vision, the calling, to holiness, to the Lord... and don't step back. God knows your hearts and desires. He hasn't forgotten them. Be where God's called you to and trust Him on the promises He's given you.

"We put cold soup on a fire and it slowly warms. You put hot soup on a cold plate and it slowly cools." - Man from the East to a man from the West.

List or No List

2011-12-23T17:49:00.000-08:00

Although it's close to Christmas and lists may take your thoughts toward Santa Claus, this post isn't about being naughty or nice.

This is the much awaited post on lists for a potential (or someday) spouse.

Lists tend to bring out extreme reactions. Some people you ask will immediately start listing off their list. Others will adamantly put their foot down that lists put God in a box and never go near them. Yet others will muse over the idea for a few minutes and suppose this or that to be on their list.

Since lists cause such a stir and everyone has their own (usually strong) ideas on lists, I wanted to start by looking in Scriptures. Is there any examples or no examples of lists? And, if so, what did that look like?

Let's look.

When Abraham asked his senior servant to find a wife for his son, Isaac, he asked him to go to his country and his relatives to find a suitable woman. He listed out three absolutes for his servant: one - a woman, two - from his country and three - from his relatives. Through prayer, the servant obeyed his master and the Lord in this venture to find Isaac his wife. Before Abraham's servant had even finished speaking to the Lord, the Lord acknowledged and answered his prayer. Rebekah, a beautiful, virtuous woman was on the scene.

Jacob would say it was love at first sight. Rachel was no doubt beautiful from head to toe and he was enchanted from the very beginning. Jacob didn't have a "list" of things he was looking for - rather he fell head first into love with Rachel. Yet, the story didn't play out as he had hoped. Despite this romanticized beginning, Jacob failed to see Rachel's shortcomings or to consider the will of God in a relationship with her. The neighborhood girl and the new boy in town had a relationship based off of physical appearance rested on a shaky foundation. Of course, there's much more to the story as Uncle Laban threw a monkey wrench in there with Rachel's sister, Leah.

Of course, the classic Ruth and Boaz story warms our hearts as we see God orchestrate and provide a way for them to met, fall in love and marry. While a list wasn't directly implied, there were list-like things threaded throughout the story. Boaz was a man of God, hardworking, kind, considerate and honorable. Ruth was never proclaimed to be a beauty like Rebekah or Rachel, but it was emphasized that she obtained inner beauty, a meek and quiet spirit and an unpretentious humility.

King Ahasuerus' thought it would be great fun to have a beauty pageant. Hey, why not? He was looking for a good lookin' woman and had recently banished his current wife from his kingdom. Ahasuerus' ideal queen was a drop dead gorgeous beauty. He wanted the best of the best. Little did he know that God had more in store for his next queen of Persia. Hadassah, that is, Esther, was included in the line up of women. Esther's beauty as well as her loveliness of spirit found more favor in the eyes of Ahasuerus than all of the other women. No doubt that Esther never wanted to marry King Ahasuerus. He wasn't exactly a man of great or godly reputation despite his great wealth and power as king. Yet we see God work circumstances together for good.

Ok. Ok. There are a lot more stories, relationships and couples in the Bible that you can go look at for yourself. For now, I want to point out a few things that I've noticed.

First, God was not limited by Abraham's "list" that he send along with his servant. Rather, God honored it and worked within it. Abraham's desire and motives were for his son to be married to someone of the same faith as their family. They were living in a heathen country with unshared faith among the people. Abraham knew the importance of being aligned spiritual. Abraham's lists did not fall outside of God's will.

I've heard again and again "don't put God in a box" as I've shared things on my heart for my someday (tall) husband. At first, it was so frustrating for me. But as I prayed and sought the Lord on His take on it, He gave me peace and freedom. I also realized that there is no way on earth anyone could put God in a box. The idea is absolutely absurd. In fact, I think the saying should be outlawed. If you are in full fellowship with the Lord and obedient to His leading, you are in a good place. Even if you have a "list" in hand. God is not going to be limited by your list and in actuality He will most likely modify and adjust things on your list as you walk with Him as He is preparing you for that someday someone.

Almost every couple that I know has something they always wanted that their spouse meets the requirements. It may be something as small as bigger hands than their own or broader shoulders.

So, to state that a list will limit God and place Him in a box is a statement on a soft foundation. It's absolutely not true. Nor is it possible.

Second, a list can limit us... if we are unwilling to let the Lord to modify and adjust things on it. But, then... the issue isn't so much the list, is it? It comes down to absolute surrender and obedience to the Lord. The list only happens to be the mean revealing that side of ourselves. If that's the case, go back and examine your heart. Get aligned with God before pursuing any relationship beyond that.

Third, there are things that we should be looking for in someone and a list isn't so bad! A lot of guys throw out the P31 woman. That's the kind of gal they want... well, Proverb 31 is a list of characteristics and attributes that a woman possess and is developing. Likewise, the Fruits of the Spirit... there's more than one, thus you have a list. You want to be looking for those characteristics and fruits in a person - and it's not bad. God lists things out for us on multiply occasions. He is not against lists.

Fourth, there are lists that are full of irrelevant things that need to be chucked. Sometimes lists come out with characteristics and preferences that we'd like. But the thing is... we can't customize our future spouse and put in an order. The purpose of marriage is mission. And, many times, the person God has for you isn't going to just be, but will be used by Him for edifying and refining you. If you have a list of things that fall outside of Godly characteristics and attributes, don't hold on to them tightly. They may be something God gives you, but they may also not be something that He gives you in a spouse.

Finally, relax. God knows you. He knows your heart. He knows His purposes and will. I use to have person after person tease me about wanting to marry a tall man. It stressed me out. After hearing again and again from people that God had a sense of humor and just wait and see.... my heart broke. It didn't matter that they were well-intended Christians. It frustrated me that they were much shorter and didn't know what it felt like to be a tall girl. I felt like God's joke. But what happened when I took it before the Lord was that He spoke peace over me and reassured me that my desires and hopes were not wrong nor was He unaware of them. I have full confidence in my Father and have entrusted my heart to Him.

Each of us has something we hope, dream or desire in our future spouse. The Lord is fully aware of it. And, He longs to give us good gifts. He desires to fulfill our desires as we delight in Him. Read Psalm 37. And, read Psalm 139.

Don't despair. Don't fret. Don't give up. Some of those desires and hopes where given to you on purpose by a God who is developing them even as you read this... He's got a plan and it's playing itself out. Trust Him.

So, to answer the question as to list or no list? Yes.

powerSPOKEN

2011-12-20T22:16:00.000-08:00

My head hit the pillow at 12:37am. I should be tired. I wasn't. I had a lot to accomplish the next morning. I needed to sleep. I tossed and turned. Listening to muffled voices from another room for a while. Staring at the glow of lights from outside hitting the ceiling. 1:30am. Still awake. I closed my eyes and forced them shut. I reasoned that I could trick myself into sleeping if I didn't open them.

The problem was that my brain didn't turn off. Thoughts, topics, names of a few people keep popping into my head. I drifted off to sleep for about an hour. It felt successful until I woke up and looked at the clock. 3:30am. I grabbed my phone. I pulled up a few documents on it, mentally re-wrote a few things, prayed for the names that again came to mind and went back to forcing myself to sleep. 5am. Awake and slowly back to sleep. 6am. Awake and thinking with my eyes closed. 6:45am. Done. I'm up.

Oddly enough, for not being a restful night, I felt well-rested all day. Thoughts from throughout the night drift in and out throughout the day. Thoughts building on other thoughts and becoming substantial. Everyone has hot spots. Things that trigger a reaction. Things, ideas or causes that you are adamantly passionate about. Last night and all throughout today, my thoughts have been on one of my hot spots.

Words. Spoken words from one person to another.

I'm not sure why this topic of spoken words penetrated my thoughts and sleep so much last night nor why they stayed with me all day. But, I know that there is power with the things I say and I never want to be slack or casual in what I say. I'm thankful for the reminders and grace that the Lord gives me so generously. So, as the day is coming to a close, I want to share the things that are on my heart and perhaps it's a reminder that the Lord has for you as well.

Though we're in a series on love, yet this post is really applicable to any relationship and to every person. There are a couple angles I want to take on what we say and how we say it to others.

Life Or Death.

Your words have the power of life or death to another person. I don't think we fully realize how much impact (positive or negative) we can inflict on a person by what we say or don't say. Not only is the content of what you are saying important, but how you say it. You may have something important or truthful to address with someone, but lack the tack in approaching the conversation that results in damaging the relationship or counters the purpose of the conversation.

When you come to someone with an issue or an important matter to address (which occurs in all relationships at some point or another), you need to come humbly. You know in your heart of hearts if your motives and heart is humble before approaching someone. And, if you can't tell where your heart is at, wait. Pray. Seek God's council. It's better to wait and clearly hear from the Lord before rushing to address something for the wrong motives (self-righteousness, self-preservation, etc). Sometimes we don't even realize that we have the wrong motives or intentions until it's too late and the damage is done.

Teach, Don't Preach.

All good preachers are teachers. They address truth in love. They bring it before someone in such a way that doesn't accuse or condemn the person they are speaking to, but lays it out in such a way that the person can learn, grow and decide for themselves. Jesus is the perfect example of this. And, we should take note.

When we have a topic to discuss in any relationship, don't go into it with the purpose of preaching. Often topics and issues aren't as they always seem. We're susceptible to mistakes and when we head into a conversation to preach at the other person, we often bring misguided judgements and condemnation on someone.

Likely, the person you approach will shut down and be unresponsive to what you brought to the table. And, perhaps, you will later find out you were misinformed or the situation was otherwise.

Speak To One's God Potential.

So often we speak to a behavior or a preset supposition about someone. Yet, how different would we be if we spoke to the God potential in another person. Imagine what it would look like if we called out the characteristics and attributes that God has placed in a person instead of joking and jesting about that person's behavior or emphasizing their shortcomings.

By speaking to one's God potential, I'm not implying that you throw out just anything towards a person or flatter them, but that you truly and honestly speak to the things of God that you see in someone. If you don't see anything you can speak to, then pray earnestly for God to reveal those things to you.

Be A Man About It.

This is for guys and girls. When you have an issue or topic to address in your relationship with someone else, no matter how new or old that relationship is, be a man about it. What I mean is that when you address things - good, bad and everything in between - do it in person. Don't take shortcuts. Unfortunately, technology isn't so much on our side for this one. Text messages aren't the best way to convey conversations. E-mailing is not preferable either. If you are unable to speak to that person face to face, the call them on the phone. But, if you have every means and capacity to address that person in person, do it.

Not only is face to face the best for the conversation, but it shows that you respect and love that person enough to come to them (Isn't that what Jesus did for us - Immanuel). The text message, e-mail, or note leaving accusations are a cowardly way to speak to someone and shows a lack of respect and love (true, God-given love for the other person).

It's hard to address other people. It's hard to have serious conversations. It's nerve racking and difficult. Yet when it needs to be done, it needs to be done in bold humility as you speak face to face with the person.

Finishing Thoughts.

How are you speaking to others?

Do you speak in love?

Are you speaking life towards others or do you condemn them through your words?

Are you teaching or preaching in your conversations and interactions with others?

Do you speak towards someone's God potential? Or do you dwell on shortcomings and faults of others?

Are you calling out the things that God has placed in someone?

Are you a "man about it" when you have serious conversations? Or are you taking the easy way out?

Jesus spoke life to us.

Jesus taught us.

Jesus spoke to our God potential.

Jesus was a man about it.

Be like Jesus.

The Not-So-Independent Life

2011-12-09T08:56:00.000-08:00

I don't really know where to point the finger nor do I want to. But, I do think it should be said. Life is not so independent as we think or would like to think.

Our society, our culture and our mindset is directed toward advancing and move toward independence. Independence from our family. Independence in our thinking. Independence in our faith. The self-sufficient and self-sustaining individual is acknowledged, praised and admired for their efforts and achievements.

But, life isn't intended to be lived that way and love is certainly not intended to be that way.

This series is about love and the majority of this post is going to relate to that. Perhaps someday I'll write something on the independent faith or independent family life. But, that's for another day.

From the very beginning, when God created the earth, we saw Him working and living in community (Genesis 1:26). We see that community expand from God to His creation as He welcomes us in to relationship and fellowship with Him. But, tragedy occurred as we (mankind) chose to break that fellowship and community with Him. The rhythms and ways of life are now influenced and impacted by sin and death.

We were created to live in community -- with God, His creation and our fellow man. Yet because of sin that community was broken and things had to change. We had to deal with the consequences of our choice and sins.

The concept, desire and longing for community didn't leave us - it only changed as it was impacted by sin. And, God's intentions and heart for community with us didn't diminish. He still longs to be in community with us and thus provided a way to redeem that broken fellowship, worship and community with Him through His Son, Jesus Christ.

Community was designed by God. And, we were designed for community.

So, let's pull back to 2,011 A. D. Today.

Community is so far off from God's intention and plan. Instead of moving towards living together in community, we often move away from one another in search of independence. You grow up. You get a car. You buy a house. You go to college. You find a spouse. You fall in love. You have children. You go on your own family vacations. And on and on it goes.

Don't get me wrong. Independence isn't a bad thing, but it's been emphasized in all the wrong ways. I'm not saying that you should be lazy, live off of hand-outs, irresponsible or otherwise. But what I'm saying is that our life should not compartmentalized as we like to put it.

My work life.

My love life.

My family life.

My social life.

My faith.

My thought life.

We separate everything from each other. But, we are integrated beings. Each area of our life overlaps with the other. And our lives bump and rub shoulders with the lives of those around us.

Ok. Let's bring this thought back around to the topic of love.

In the Bible, you often see the love stories play out in community. It wasn't that she went off and met him. Or he just happened to see her and fell in love. There were more people involved.

Take Isaac and Rebekah. Isaac's father sent his servant in search of a wife for Isaac. Or what about Esther. Her cousin, Mordecai, encouraged her and put her in a place where the king would see her. Ruth had Naomi coaching her along with Boaz.

Love outside of community sets you up for difficulties, challenges and even failure. Take, for instances, David and Bathesheba.

Love needs to happen in community for several reasons (note: these are in no particular order).

It keeps everyone accountable. Love is one of those things that can affect you spiritually, emotionally, physically and cognitively. By including other people in the process of love and relationships will be a safe guard for you on every level.

It draws attention to red flags. Love is blind, so they say. And, rightly so. When one is in love, you don't see everything as they are. You may see the red flags, but you might not be aware of their full effect or significance. When other people can speak into your relationship, you will have a more realistic perspective on everything.

You marry the family, too. I think Hollywood came up with the cheese line of "I'm marrying you, not your family." Well, that's true and it's not. The family comes along too. They are a part of your lives and your children's lives. The tensions, struggles, joys, challenges, hopes, purposes of one's family influence your relationship and perhaps someday marriage. The idea that getting married will solve all the problems one has with their family is false and sets one up for tough days ahead. If your family and friends are involved and theirs is too, then you get to see the issues and dynamics that arise in the relationship before you marry in, discover the dreaded in-laws and they discover you.

Everyone grows. I think that this is huge thing that gets overlooked or brushed aside. As we learn together, we grow together. The immediate relationship with be stronger as well as the peripheral relationships.

Someone might know someone. It's not unlikely nor is it negative to have a friend of a friend introduction. In fact, in many ways, it may be safer for the both of you as there's already an established relation with someone from your surrounding community. You may just be an introduction away...

A complete picture. Different environments and different friends bring out different attributes and traits in a person. When you see someone with their friends, with your friends, with family, at church, in social settings, you get a better picture of who they are all the way around.

Prayer warriors. Perhaps one of the best things we could do in our close community is recruit and faithfully pray for one another in the area of love. This covers every - from those waiting to meet someone to those who are in a developing relationship to those who have sealed the deal and are married. We all need prayer. Love, relationships and the process of it all is lifelong and at times challenging. Holding each other up in prayer in the area of love is perhaps one of the most loving things you could do for a friend, a potential spouse, a family member or a neighbor.

Be a testimony. People are watching. Always. And, for those of us who follow Christ, people are watching for us to make a mistake so they can point fingers and remind us how we are just like them. We are just like them. Human, frail and susceptible to sin. So, by setting up a guardrail through friends and family, the world can watch us face struggles in love and deal with them in a way that honors Christ and each other.

By no means is this "list" inclusive of everything. But, again, it's a beginning. I encourage you to continue to explore life and love in a community environment. Personally, I believe the pros outweigh the cons by a long shot.

For now, I encourage you to share your life with others in all areas - but especially in love. As they uphold you physically, emotionally, spiritually and cognitively in prayer, you commit to do the same for them.

defining love

2011-12-06T19:55:00.001-08:00

Perhaps the next piece is to define the subject.

You know, it's interesting writing on something I didn't necessarily plan. In so many ways, I feel like God impressed it on my heart only to continue to give me a greater understanding of His heart and love for us. This summer, He showed me time and again His love for the prodigals of this world. Recently, I've experienced His love through His specific and timely provision.

I'm very much the student when it comes to this topic. By no means the expert or eloquent portrayer of all things love. But, I write from one who has experienced undeserved love again and again from the One who defines what love is.

The witty saying that "love is a verb" is common among Christian circles. I use to have a screen saver on my phone that had a creatively design with that saying written in an elegant script font. It wasn't until one of my non-Christian friends had a strange reaction to it that I changed it. It got me thinking though what that little saying portrayed to non-believers. And, as I got to thinking, I realized that it doesn't really do love justice. In fact, it's like looking at a painting half finished from a hundred feet away. From there, it looks great. But, as you come closer, you see the fine details and missing pieces.

Then you have Hollywood who abuses the word and portrays love inaccurately. You get the counselors and philosophers that recommend following your heart when it comes to love. You see people "testing" love out with different people. You hear of love only when it's convenient. You see such a hunger for true love, yet time and again people settling for synthetic love.

No wonder the world is in such confusion and despair when it comes to defining love.

Step a little closer.

Love.

God gives us insight in 1 Corinthians 13 as to the topic at hand.

Love is being patient when you have every right to lose your patience over the given situation.

Love is kind when you've been wronged.

Love is is not jealous, but rejoices with others.

It's a familiar passage, isn't it?

But, as you read through Scripture, you start noticing another trend. Step even closer.

There is a Person who also fits the description of love. In fact, He fits it so perfectly that you can't separate the two from each other. In essence, you could pull out the middle man and just straight up say that God is love. Actually, John did.

The definitions of what love is from the world is drastically different that the definition of what love is from the Bible. In fact, the difference is so great that they don't truly complete with one another. It's like a weight competition between a mosquito and an elephant. Hands down that the elephant will win.

Love is one of those things that can be defined by words, but in defining it you also limit it.

In our Western cultures and mindsets, we often like clear, concise definitions. Tell me what I need to know and I'll keep going on with my life. It doesn't quite work with everything.

I think God was strategic in making this topic so elusive. Love is something that impacts and influences you differently than other things. Love isn't something you get and keep moving. But, it's living, breathing and in the form of a man named Jesus. A man doesn't just get a wife that cooks and cleans and life goes on. Things change and adjust to the new and developing relationship. The same is for a woman. She doesn't just get a husband to provide for her and she carries on living like she's single. Both would be a catastrophe.

Rather than giving you a definition of love, I'm encouraging - commissioning if I can be so bold - to go find the answer to what love is.

I will tell you this... John told us where it is (in God) and Paul told us what it looks like (1 Corinthians 13).

So, put on your deep water waders and step into God in search of love. See what happens.

I promise you that it will not come back void. You will learn the definition of love in such a way that will change you for the rest of your life.

The Importance of Your Heart

2011-12-05T02:30:00.000-08:00

Sometimes life throws curve balls and things don't turn out like we hope or had intended. This weekend was one of them for me. It's not that my plans were completely changed. For the most part, they stayed the same. But, how I interacted with my plans and those around me this weekend had been adjusted because I had changed. I lost my voice. I simply couldn't talk. I could barely whisper.

My heart and thoughts this past week have been so directed toward this series. My prayers have been filled with petitions that God would show me and you His heart. That when all was said and done, our hearts would be more aligned with His and our minds would be filled with His thoughts when it comes to love.

Much like this weekend for me, our hopes, dreams and desires when it comes to love may not change. But, perhaps as we step into the depths of God's heart, how we interact with those hopes, dreams and desires will be different.

As I've thought and prayed on where to start, I can't get away from starting at the molecular level of love. I want to start very specific and gradually move out to see the bigger picture.

Recently, the heart posture of a person has been prevalent. In each conversation, sermon or article I've read, it's come down to the issue of one's heart. When reading through the teachings of Jesus, His greatest concern for others was their heart.

Was their heart generous? Was it greedy? Was their heart full of love toward others? Or was their heart full of selfish desires? Did their heart reflect compassion? Was their heart peaceful?

Jesus dug down deep into the issue to the place where one finds their heart. Why? Because the heart's posture will affect the outcome of the situation, belief, event or relationship. He addressed the heart first and foremost. And only second did He address the issue, situation or relationship.

If it's Jesus' habit to first look to the heart and then to the situation, I think we should follow suit. First, let's look at our hearts and then we will look at the issues of love beyond that.

Our heart - our physical heart - is the life maintaining organism in our body. It pumps and circulates oxygenated blood throughout our body. The blood travels through every part of our body providing nutrients to our cells.

Likewise, our "spiritual" heart carries much of the same function and is vital to our soul's well being. Let's briefly look at what God says about our heart.

What does God say about our heart?

It's the wellspring of life - Proverbs 4:23, John 7:38

Our heart reflect who we are - Proverbs 27:19

Our words flow from our heart - Matthew 12:34

Our heart is a storage unit of sorts - Luke 6:45, Matthew 15:18-19

God wants our heart - Matthew 22:37, Philippians 2:1

Peace is found there - Philippians 4:7, Colossians 3:15

While this is only the beginning of what the Bible says about our heart and I encourage you to go find more Scripture on it yourself, it's pretty apparent that our heart is something that has God's interest. The condition of our heart spills out into every area of our life - our friendships, relationships, family, career, education, etc.

If your heart is healthy, you are inclined toward love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, self-control. But if your heart is unhealthy, it's evident through evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, slander, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, arrogance and folly.

Yikes! There are some pretty stark differences and outcomes of the heart. All of us like to think and portray a healthy heart. Yet each of us are susceptible to an unhealthy heart. Just as with our physical heart, it's an ongoing process to maintain. We don't reach healthy heart status and stay there. But, we have to continue to exercise, eat well and develop a healthy lifestyle.

So, how would one know if their heart is healthy?

1. A quick easy way to check your heart is by watching what you say and what you say is influenced by what you hear.

What you hear gets in your head.

What gets in your head, gets in your heart.

What gets in your heart spills forth from your mouth.

Are your words full of peace, joy and blessing toward others? Are you kind or critical? Are you speaking truth and rightly about others and to others?

Start watching what you say.

If you notice that you are speaking ill of others and are critical, find out what your are listening to (friends, movies, radio, etc.). Start looking for the bad influence and start repositioning yourself to hear what is godly and righteous (friends, pastors, sermons, etc).

2. The second thing you should do in checking your heart's status is to pray. And, pray specifically. Honestly, this sounds a lot easier than it really is.

Pray that God will search your heart, the depths of your heart, and reveal anything unbeknownst to you. And, when things start surfacing, don't be surprised and don't disregard them (for it's easy for us to not to want to deal with our sins and sinful heart). But, pray through it and allow the Holy Spirit to work in you. After all, He knows us better than ourselves and the same Spirit that searches your heart is the Spirit that searches the deep things of God.

Psalm 139:23-24 Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me, and know my anxieties; And see if there is any wicked way in me, And lead me in the way everlasting.

1 Corinthians 2:9-11 However, as it is written: “What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived” the things God has prepared for those who love him— these are the things God has revealed to us by his Spirit. The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. For who knows a person’s thoughts except their own spirit within them? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God.

So, we're heading towards love. But, we're checking our heart on every level before proceeding.

I leave this question with you, my friends.

How is your heart?

Love: What You Need to Know

2011-12-02T06:53:00.000-08:00

A surgeon does not perform surgery without training.

The military does not send out brand-new recruits on top secret, classified missions.

A deep sea diver wouldn't dive with novice gear.

You would not feel safe flying in a commercial airline with a pilot whose only be training for a day.

There are things necessary to know beforehand, training on how to handle situations and things one might come across and the building of experiences.

I really think the same is true when it comes to love. Love, in it's finest form, rich and full of life, is not something to be mishandled. It carries great value that could be lost at the misuse of it or dropped as a result of clumsiness. So, why would we jump into it without researching and learning everything we can about it beforehand? It's not to say that you'll learn everything and be an expert on it. By no means! In fact, all of us know well that there's a difference between being book smart and street smart.

Starting next week, we'll step deeper into the "street smart" side of love.

For now, I want to share some "book smart" resources for you in order give some incredible, helpful insight on this topic of l.o.v.e. These are the places I often find myself and they have been a huge blessing for me. And, I am still discovering people, books, blogs and sermon series that provide a grounded, godly example and insight into love. In fact, if you know of something that isn't mentioned below, please share it with us in the comments section!

So, dig around and see what's out there. Equip and prepare yourself. But don't stop here. Let's consider this the catalyst in researching and discovering more. This is only a starting point.

In the Bible

Things I've Written
Don't Get Married Until...
Mr. and Mrs. Betterhalf - Part 1
You be Jesus, Let God be God
How God Arranges Marriages

Blogs, Bloggers and Websites

Cory Copeland - Mad to Love

Caitlin Muir - Keeper or Creeper

Love and Respect
Ally Spotts
Modern Reject: It's Love
The Art of Manliness
MH: Why Speaking of your spouse is so inportant
Growth Trac
Focus on the Family
Boundless: Being Single
Boundless: Dating and Courtship
Boundless: Marriage and Family
Five Love Languages
Relevant

Sermon Series

Just for Fun

tmfs: to my future spouse

The Art of Manliness: Write a Love Letter

Train - Marry Me (video)
A Single's Valentine (video)

Better Together (video)

Life and love

2011-12-01T02:22:00.000-08:00

It's cold and crisp outside today. Winter is fast approaching. Cozy blankets, warm socks, hot coffee and a good book appeals to me on days like today. I've been stuck on what to write and where to go with my blog recently. The ideas have been few and far between. It seems like the past few weeks when I have an idea, I find myself staring out the screen of my laptop with nothing to show for it. The words don't come or if they do they don't connect. As a writer, it's one of the most frustrating things to want to write and not be able to.

Last Saturday night I ran into a friend. I don't know her well, but I admire her a lot. She is married and expecting their first baby. I've heard her story. I know her family. I see her here and there. And, every time I see her and speak with her - no matter how lengthy or brief - I walk away feeling so encouraged. There's just something about her that just blesses me.

She asked me about my blog. I told her I've been stuck. Our conversation moved on and eventually we parted ways. That night as I lay in bed, I couldn't sleep. So, I spent time talking to the Lord. Open, raw, vulnerable words spilling from my mouth as I laid my heart out there for Him to take, to mold, to change.

In the morning, I began the day off with a warm cup of coffee and my Bible. Snuggling up in a comfy chair tucked in the corner, I started off by writing in my everything book. The pencil left it's gray trail as words spilled across the page. I wrote until my soul felt satisfied. Again, pieces of my heart laid out on paper. Exposed and vulnerable. Picking up my Bible, I read through some passage soaking in the much needed words of God.

As the rest of this morning moved along, the thought hit me. Love. I'm going to write about love. Not just the good feeling sort of love, but love in every sense. Love at the molecular level. Love at 65,000 feet above earth.

Love, oddly enough, can be a bit controversial in some sense. It's something that touches all of us as some point. It's a commonality that we can all discuss, yet it's different for each one of us.

For the month of December, my blog is going to wrapped around and immersed into the conversation, topic, theme and controversy of love. It's not going to be one of answers, but of open conversations about love in every way, shape or form.

Wait, you might be thinking. But, this month is December. Does it seem like an odd time to write about love? Shouldn't you wait until February or something and spend this month writing about Christmas and Jesus this season?

I personally can't think of any better time to talk about love than now. First, because it's the Christmas season and because of Jesus. But, second, there's something magically and divinely romantic about this time of year with twinkle lights, snow falling and festive happenings. Third, why not?

I don't have any idea of how this is going to play out or where it will go, but I hope that you'll come along with me on this one and share your thoughts, feelings, experiences and dreams of life and love with the rest of us.

ninja scarves & chasing light

2011-11-24T19:50:00.001-08:00

A long sleeve shirt, overalls and Nike tennis shoes. My three-year-old nephew looked comfortable and ready for the day. The day... Thanksgiving.

Earlier in the day, as we awaited the arrival of family members, he can into the kitchen and found me. "Can I play a game on your phone?" Of course, I told him. He wanted to play the bird game (aka Angry Birds). We looked through the apps. I had un-installed it. We re-installed it. Actually, we re-installed Angry Birds and then also downloaded Angry Birds Rio (think Angry Birds with Brazilian music).

He watched the progress of the downloads as I moved about the kitchen. We chatted. I love my nephew.

Later in the day, he came and sat down next to me. I was playing a game with cousins, a brother-in-law and my niece. I teased my little nephew. "You better watch out. I am wearing my ninja scarf." I twirled the scarf around, tickling his face and telling him about all the many ways I used my ninja scarf. "I can tie up bad guys, use it for disguises, or whirl it around like it's a weapon." I wrapped my scarf around him. "I got you." He laughed.

The day carried on with conversations, family, cousins, card games and laughter. Eventually, cousins, aunts and uncles left to head back to their home. We cleaned up.

My sister-in-law pulled out a little food for my niece and two nephews for dinner. Passing through the kitchen, I stopped and said hello to my youngest nephew. He's one and a half years old and calls me Grandma (he can't quite get my name yet - that's ok. I love him anyway). He had pulled out a little notebook to color in and found some crayons. On the table, someone had left a flashlight. I turned it on for him. He held it up. The light hit the ceiling. "Look!" I told him, pointing to the ceiling. He looked up and moved the flashing light. His eyes followed the light.

"I'm going to get it." I told him as I jumped toward the light trying to catch it. He laughed. I jumped again. Pretending to catch it again. His little belly laugh made the entire room smile. He moved the light. I jumped again. By this time, he was laughing so hard that he nearly lost his balance standing on the kitchen chair. He and I played for a while. He laughed while I jumped around the kitchen chasing light.

His older sister and brother joined in the fun. We pretended to catch the light and hold it tightly in our hands. For the little guy, he probably had no idea what we were doing. He watched us jump and laugh around the kitchen. I can only imagine how that looked. But, his laugh and smile made the silly, goofy behavior worth it.

I'm so thankful for the sweet time and laughter with my little nephews today... where we wore ninja scarves and chase light. :)

Risk: Are you willing?

2011-11-22T23:28:00.001-08:00

"Are there any more extreme things that I should know about you and your friends?!"

I laughed. The voice belonged somewhere in Chicago. Our conversation deviated from it's purposes to adventures and risk-taking around the world. "How do you get there?" he asked, inquiring on how to go from the everyday routine to living out risk-taking adventures. The question was in part rhetorical.

Another conversation, just days later, with a dear friend. Risk and relationships. We talked about how relationships require risk - on both sides - yet how often people shy away from them on account of not wanting to risk oneself or to feel vulnerable or exposed.

Last Thursday morning, I ran into a friend from church at my favorite coffee shop. We caught up on the happenings and life... and then mixed into the conversation of missions and God's calling, he mentioned how my generation of young women were at a disadvantage. The guys in our generation default to grown-up kids. They play video games and lack vision. I agreed. "I mentor a dozen or so young guys and what it really comes down to is risk. They won't take it and they need to," he told me.

Risk.
Risk in living.
Risk in relationships.
Risk in love.

These three examples are just a few of the many conversations wrapped around risks and risk-taking that I've had over the past three weeks. Risk carries so many different meanings, some of which are well-grounded while others are more subjective. Risk is relative to one's comfort level which varies from person to person. Risk can be debated and discussed endlessly. But, at some point in our lives, we all encounter risk at some level. And, we're left with the decision of taking it or leaving it depending on if we are willing to or if we feel it's worth it.

Risk requires sacrifice. When it comes down to it, the moment of decision, there's always two choices. There's the safe, comfortable, known option and there's the uncertain, risky, vulnerable option. The latter option usually costs something - your time, your energy, your opinion, your emotions, your comfort.

Risk-taking involves a lot of trust. Risk-taking is reflective of trust levels, I think. You are willing to risk your heart with someone you trust and love. You are willing to take a risk-taking step of faith in your journey with God because you trust Him. You're willing to step out in your job or career because you trust that there is a possibility out there to be had. Without trust, risk would be purposeless.

Not all risks are irresponsible. This is more for the non-traditional, non-linear risk takers out there. Most people won't understand you. (Trust me, I know.) They view your risks as a season (or lifetime) of irresponsibility. Yet, not all risks are irresponsible. Sure, you get the few folks in the mix that are taking risks and being irresponsible about it. But, a lot of movements of faith, change and transformations resulted from someone stepping up and risking it. The world may not understand you. But, don't let anyone talk you out of what God has talked you into.

God is a risk-taker. He is. I know you're thinking right now that this is an absurd statement and that there's no way I could make such a claim. Think about it. He took the risk in creating us with free-will. A Creator who loves His creation but possibly unloved in return. He took the risk to give us a second chance and to be redeemed unto Himself. He pulls His people into risky situations where He then can show His power and sovereignty. He doesn't want you to stay the same. He has a plan for you. A good plan. Yet, it's necessary for you to put off the "old man" as Paul says. In order for you to grow and become what God has intended you to be, He puts you in places of "risk" where you decided one way or the other.

Risk is connected with growth. In many ways, this can be connected with the others in that you learn to sacrifice, you learn to trust, you learn boldness. As you learn, you grow.

Risk-taking is not a synonym for stupidity. Most people like routine. Any change in routine or familiarity is uncomfortable and strange. So, sometimes when people take a risk, others comment or condone the designated risk as stupidity. But, not so... I would venture to say that risk-taking is not stupidity (in that when you take a risk, there is something obtainable on the other end of that risk).

Risk-taking doesn't always mean success on the other end. Hollywood has once again given us a misconception of reality and risks. From heroes to lovers, Hollywood portrays success as a given result of risk. But, that's not always the case in life. Sometimes we take a risk and it fails. The love is unreturned. The business venture failed. The move to a new place resulted in loneliness and depression. It can be a hindrance in taking the risk initially. But, remember this, God is in control of all things. And, sometimes our greatest setbacks are His greatest setups. So, something didn't go through... we keep moving forward trusting Him because He knows what lies ahead of us in the unknown future.

Risk, I find, comes down to this: are you willing?

Dreaming with a Broken Heart

2011-11-14T11:32:00.000-08:00

I don't dream often. That may seem odd or strange or peculiar for me to state such a thing. But, the truth is, I just don't. I know why... and it's ok.

But, occasionally, I do dream. And, when I do, it's usually a sensible, logical dream. It makes sense. It's not one of those crazy dreams that take you flying around the world with your super powers. But, it's usually reflective of reality and real life.

At the beginning of October, I had a dream about a gypsy boy that I just love. This young gypsy boy was one that I spent most of my time with while I was in Romania. He and I had frequent conversations and discussions about heaven and God. He was the one that I saw God pursuing, desiring and longing for.

In my dream, I saw this gypsy boy sitting in the grass on a hill. I hurried to finish my task at hand so that I could go join him, to sit with him and to talk with him. I managed to finish up my unknown task at hand and sit down before he left. We talked. As often discussed in Romania, we talked about the Lord. We talked of heaven. We talked of salvation. We talked about the Kingdom of God.

In my dream, I saw his heart continuing to soften toward the Lord and the evidence of God's pursuit of him. At the end of our conversation, I reached out, touching his arm, and said to this young boy, "God cares for you, I--." I watched his face as he took that statement in, digesting it, processing it. He appeared unmoved by the words. Stoic. Stone-like. I repeated it, feeling self-conscious as I wasn't sure what to do with no response from him at all. But, just as we were about to part ways, I saw emotions spread across his face. Very nearly brought to tears. The simple, yet powerful truth that God cares for him touched him. It spoke to his heart. It touched his soul.

I woke up.

My heart, thoughts and emotions were centered on this young boy. Before opening my eyes and moving from my bed, I lifted up prayers for him, for salvation, for his heart. He lives over 11,000 km away from me...

In my dreams, God is continuing to break my heart for this boy. He is building a heart of compassion and love for the lost and hurting in the depths of my soul as I sleep. Perhaps it's His way of using me to battle on the behalf of this young man.

About three weeks later, I e-mailed this young gypsy boy just to say hello and check on him. He replied and told me of school and how he continues to excel in English. And, just at the bottom of his e-mail, he said, "I almost forgot, I know is crazy but I dreamt about you few nights ago."

It was my turn for tears. I couldn't explain it. But, reading that little line at the end of his e-mail gave me goosebumps. The fingerprints of God is all over that boy. His love is deep for that young gypsy. His pursuit gentle. His words right.

In so many ways, I feel like God grabbed my hand as He passed by me in pursuit of this boy and said, "Come on." His eyes twinkling with love and excitement. As I've watched God at work, I've fallen in love with Him more than I could ever express with words and have grown to love this gypsy boy even more dearly.

I feel like I give you a story with no ending. And, I don't know how to wrap this one up. So, I'll leave you with a few thoughts below and let you take it or leave it for what it is.

God cares for you. He cares deeply and desires you. If nothing else, as you close this browser or carry on to a different page, don't let this thought slip from you. God cares for you. He's crazy about you. He loves you. He sees you. He knows your name.

Let God break your heart! It's something that I've been becoming more and more sensitive to as I watching God break my own heart. More than anything in this world, I want His heart. And, I know that my own heart is not naturally structure to function and perform as His does. So, that means there has to be some reconstructive work done internally to make my heart look, function and perform as His heart does. He has been and is continuing to break my heart, to enlarge it and to strength it. It's painful, but worth it.

Dreams are a bit controversial. I know, I know... I am usually a skeptic about things like dreams. They are sometimes crazy, nonsense ideas and thoughts that are misused, misinterpreted and misguiding. Yet, they are a facet that God has used in the past... and He has no reason not to continue to use them. Perhaps it's His way of placing people on my heart as I am quiet and away from a busy schedule. I don't know. I really just don't know.

A Bar of Steel

2011-11-13T22:02:00.001-08:00

I was reading one of my favorite devotional books earlier today, A Stream in the Desert. I read the devotional designated for today, and then flipped through the book reading others from various dates. There's always something substantial for me... something to glean or to learn or to understand in a new light. I flipped back to October. October 24 to be exact. It caught my attention. For many, many reasons, but also something about the print on the page seemed to jump out. So, I wanted to share it with you. Be encouraged at the work God is doing in you right now - it's for eternal purposes!

"I will make thee a new sharp threshing instrument." Isaiah 41:15

A bar of steel worth five dollars, when wrought into horseshoes, is worth ten dollars. If made into needles, it is worth three hundred and fifty dollars; if into penknife blades, it is worth thirty-two thousand dollars; if into springs for watches it is worth two hundred and fifty thousand dollars. What a drilling the poor bar must undergo to be worth this! But the more it is manipulated, the more it is hammered and passed through the fire, and beaten and pounded and polished, the greater the value.

May this parable help us to be silent, still, and longsuffering. Those who suffer most are capable of yielding most; and it is through pain that God is getting the most out of us, for His glory and the blessing of others.

Life is very mysterious. Indeed it would be inexplicable unless we believed that God was preparing us for scenes and ministries that lie beyond the veil of sense in the eternal world, where highly-tempered spirits will be required for special service.

"The turning-lathe that has the sharpest knives produces the finest work."

Risk it or miss it?

2011-11-08T04:00:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I wonder at our cautions and hesitations. Perhaps we walk away safe, avoiding risk... yet I wonder at how much we miss.

And, then I wonder even further. How much do we miss because we hesitate or take the safe route on the things God calls us to?

I wonder what our lives would look like if we with reckless abandon threw ourselves into unquestioning obedience at the first call of God.

I wonder at the intimacy of our relationship with our Lord if we responded with such vigor and passion.

Is it a trust issue? Is it a culture pre-caution? Is it fear?

What keeps us or holds us back from saying "Yes, Lord. I'm here"? Or from quick, wholehearted obedience?

Why do we skirt around His promises and purposes until we've exhausted any further option and relent to obedience?

I wonder this only as I reflect on myself. I wonder this as I realized that there was one or two things that I held on to for so many years that perhaps limited and even at times prohibited me from fully obeying God's call and purpose for my life.

I look back and wonder. But, I know that I can't stay here. I can't stay where I'm at or where I was. So, as I look forward, hearing His voice, knowing His call, I'm ready to surrender in full, reckless abandon to obedience. I'm not going to behave stupidly or ignorantly, but in full trust of His sovereignty I'm going to respond quickly to His voice and His call.

So, I'm watching. And waiting. And listening.

And, when He calls, I'm going to risk everything necessary and respond with, "Yes, Lord. I'm here."

Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing

2011-11-07T06:34:00.000-08:00

God chooses whom God chooses –– usually a less than obvious candidate. He chose Moses, who had no gift for public speaking, to tell Pharaoh, "Let my people go!" He chose David, a mere boy, to deliver his people from the giant, Goliath. And he chose Robert Robinson to write this hymn, "Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing" –– a hymn that has blessed people for more than two centuries.

Robinson was an unlikely candidate for ministry. As a teenager, he was a member of a street gang. One night they plied a fortuneteller with alcohol in the hope of getting their fortunes told for free –– hardly an auspicious occasion for the work of the Holy Spirit. But the fortuneteller told Robinson, "You will live to see your children and your grandchildren" –– and that comment made Robinson decide to clean up his act.

Inviting his gang to mock Methodists, Robinson persuaded them to visit a revival meeting being conducted by the great evangelist, George Whitfield. Whitfield preached on the text, "O generation of vipers, who hath warned you to flee from the wrath to come?" and convinced Robinson that he was speaking to him personally. It took three more years, but Robinson became a Christian.

Robinson never got the proper education expected of a minister, but he became one nevertheless ––a minister so competent that he attracted learned people to his congregation in the great university town of Cambridge, England.

To my knowledge, Robinson wrote only two hymns, and "Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing" is the only one that remains popular today. But it is popular indeed, being found in practically every hymnbook. It is a hymn of praise to God for the blessings that he has bestowed on us –– and a prayer that God will seal our hearts "for Thy courts above!"

The original version of the hymn uses the word "Ebenezer," a word unfamiliar to most people. It refers to a place where Samuel erected a stone memorial to honor victory over the Philistines (1 Samuel 7:12). The wording has been changed in many modern hymnals.

Christmas Cards and Photographs

2011-11-05T11:29:00.000-07:00

It's going to be here before we know it... Christmas is just weeks away.

Need a Christmas Card photo still?

Sarah Eischen Photography has got you covered.

And, for a great price too!

November and December are $35 for 1/2 hr photoshoot,

which includes 15 edited shots for you to choose! Send her an e-mail at

sarah@littleoakfarms.com and she will set up a date!

Also, click here to like Sarah's photography page on Facebook.

Box Full of Treasures

2011-11-04T09:31:00.000-07:00

I have a box that is full of my greatest treasures.

But, for someone to merely open it and look in, they may not see the value in it's contents.

The accumulation of scraps here and colored pages there. A well-written letter. A silly postcard. A scrap of paper with funny font on it. Perhaps a rock. Or a old newspaper article torn out.

For every item in this box, there is a story. A sweet memory. A person on the other side.

Sometimes it's a dear loved one that gave me something precious that I treasure.

Other times it's from a nameless child on the street.

Or a piece of paper picked up off the ground that was from someone's love story... only it was lost somewhere between him and her.

This week, I added one more thing to the box.

It is a piece of plastic wrapper. Torn and misshaped. Spongebob print on one side of it. A week ago, as I walked through Grace Village in Carrefour, Haiti, I stopped to say hello to one of the little girls I passed by. She was holding this piece of plastic wrapper in her hands. For some reason or another, when I stooped to say hello, she reached out and wrapped it around my wrist. It was a bracelet... for me.

I hugged her and thanked her for the gift. She smiled sweetly.

To me, the torn, plastic wrapper bracelet is of far more value than a truck load of gold and diamonds. It was a gift that spoke to the depths of my heart and spilled over in instant love for this sweet child.

Someone called for me. I said goodbye to the dear girl and made my way up to the rest of the team.

I held the plastic wrapper held tightly in my hands as to not let it go or loss this valuable treasure. Other children ran up, smiling and talking to our team as we passed by their home. Yet there was something that pulled me back to this child who stood aside watching the other children run up to us and who in her state of lack gave me what little thing she had in hand at that moment.

For some, they may say how sweet the gesture was and eventually throw away the dirty, torn plastic. For me, I can't because behind the plastic is a story and behind the story is a sweet little girl.

How true is this of us? The gifts that we bring to our Lord Jesus Christ may have no more value than that of a piece of torn plastic wrap. Yet He values and treasures them. His love for us is far greater than we can imagine or fully know... So, when His child brings Him a gift - He treasures it - even though He has the capacity and means to acquire something more of exceeding value.

Don't get caught up in thinking that you have nothing to offer Him or that the things you bring to Him are insignificant or worthless. Let me assure you, they are not. Our God has the heart of a Father. And, as any father here on earth will tell you, when his child brings him a gift, shows him their love, or simple desires to spend time in his presence, the father will not say no nor will he turn away his little one. If our father here on earth loves us and give us good things, how much more will our Father in heaven give or do on our behalf? How much more has He already given and done on our behalf!?

Our Father will seize every moment possible just to be with you. Because He's crazy about you. He will not be dismayed or put off by a little, insignificant gift that you bring Him. But, He will treasure it because it came from you - His child.

So, my box witha plastic wrapper and old torn pages may seem strange to the world. But, they aredear to me. They are my greatest treasures.

I appeal to you therefore, brothers,

by the mercies of God,

to present your bodies as a living sacrifice,

holy and acceptable to God,

which is your spiritual worship.

Romans 12 v 1

Shaky Start, Sweet Finish

2011-11-02T12:31:00.000-07:00

Haitian Sunset

October 24, 2007.

A day that I'll never forget. A day branded so deeply on my heart that I will never be able to cover up or hide. A day that brought more pain than I had ever experienced before. A day that I felt like my world had ended.

After a weekend with my grandparents and plans to see them again in two days, I gave them hugs and said my goodbyes before driving back to Portland.

The twenty-fourth of October came. The day started off well. Lunch in the city with my sister. Plans to go to church that night with my younger brother.

It was mid-afternoon when my phone rang. It was my brother. Almost home, I told him. And, that's when he told me the dreaded news... my grandmother had passed away. Unexpected and sudden.

My world shook. My heart broke. I wanted to melt into oblivion. I could taste the bitterness of death. I felt it's emptiness.

The days slowly moved on. I watched as people live and tried to remember how to. In a moment, something as normal and familiar as breathing and living became a foreign and difficult thing.

Eight days later on October 31st, my sister and I were together again. I had spent some time with her. We both felt lost in the midst of all that had happened over the past week. It was evening. So, we found a quiet restaurant, slipped in and quietly ate our food.

The next year, unplanned, my sister and I once again found ourselves at this same restaurant on the same day. It had been exactly a year since we had been there. We laughed as we realized that coincidence. And, we decided to make it a tradition to remember our dear grandmother and the need for each other.

Fast forward to today, four years later.

October 24, 2011.

All throughout the day, my thoughts drifted to my grandmother. It had been four years. The following week was often filled with memories of her, her death, the faithfulness of God and how He's brought healing to my heart and soul. The bitter sweet memories of the remaining eight days of October are dear to me.

But this year, four years later, was different.

On October 24, I boarded a plane destined for the little country of Haiti in the Caribbean.

I marveled at the handiwork of God as He has brought healing and restoration to my soul where I could board a plane for these precious eight days away. To see how God has build His vision and purposes in place of the vision and purpose that had crumbled instantly that day four years prior and to experience His peace and love that surpasses all understanding is written on my soul.

Tuesday morning as we drove through Port-au-Prince, I marveled at how the city resembled my soul from four years ago - broken, crumbled and hurting. I had experienced a great loss just as Haiti experienced a great loss.

Throughout the week, I watched and observed this nation. Praying over the people, the children and the land, my mind was filled with thoughts of God's healing. Just as He brought healing to my life, I have no doubt that He is bringing healing and restoration to that country. For many, they may not see it. But, I did. And, I'm excited to see the faithful, healing work of God continue to play out in that country.

We flew home on October 31st. The end of the sweet eight days that have been precious to me over the past four years. My sister met me at the airport along with our older sister and two dear friends. We went out and grabbed dinner together. It wasn't the same place that we had gone to over the past three years, but it was us together and, though unspoken, we both thought of our tradition and sweet memories of our dear grandmother.

Four years ago, it was a shaky start to being re-positioned in God's will and direction. But now, I look back on His handiwork and look forward toward His Kingdom and I see the sweet finish in store. My world may shake around me again. But, I trust Him... in all circumstances... forever.

And his voice shook the earth then,

but now he has promised, saying,

"Yet once more I will shake, not only the earth, but also the heavens" (Hag 2:7).

This expression, "Yet once more," denotes the removing of those things

which can be shaken,

as of created things, in order that those things which cannot be shaken may remain.

Therefore, since we are receiving an unshakable kingdom,

let us show gratitude,

by which we may offer to God an acceptable worship

with reverence and awe;

for our God is a consuming fire.

Hebrews 12:26-29

---

To read more regarding the eight days spent in Haiti, check out the blog here:

http://www.hespeaksinthesilence.com/category/etc/

Authentic Attraction

2011-10-21T23:04:00.000-07:00

"Now the tax collectors and sinners were all gathering around to hear Jesus" (Luke 15:1).

The Pharisees seemed to attack Jesus and use against Him the very reason He came. They confronted and challenged His living example of what they had failed to follow. The "sinners," the ones rejected and reviled were drawn to Him. Jesus was a magnet to people, not because He condemned them, but because He loved them. He was more interested in getting to know them than pushing Himself onto them for them to know Him. The Pharisees wanted to be seen. Jesus wanted to see them, for them to know that He cared, that He could look past all they had done and all the places they had been. He saw, not who they were, but who they could be.

He was sincere. This was His attraction. He represented something so different than the lives they were living, and different from the lives of those who were more concerned in judging them. He loved them. He was complete, secure, fulfilled, and they desired it. They were attracted.

Oh, to be more like Jesus. Is this your daily goal? This is to be your heart's desire. Ask Jesus to help you to become more like Him. Those that Jesus loved were drawn to Him. Ask Him to enlarge your heart and breathe on the fires of your passion for Him, that others would be drawn to the love of Jesus in you. Resist the temptation to be judgmental, condemning, and assuming. Choose not to surround yourself with people who serve to further your own comfort or convenience. Be one who, because of the light of Christ shining within you, becomes a beacon of that light draws, attracts, and connects to those who are longing for that light. Let your life be that which reflects a peace and fulfillment that you have found and continuing to discover in Him, that they, too, are hungry for.

By Pastor Chris Gibbs @ The Link http://www.chrisgibbs.net/2011/10/authentic-attraction.html

Behind the Hymn | I have decided to follow Jesus.

2011-10-14T10:45:00.000-07:00

Have you ever wondered about the origin of a hymn? There are so many powerful hymns that cut right to the heart, that lift us up and bring us closer to Christ. But sometimes the really powerful thing about a hymn is the story behind it.

When I was growing up as a child I remember singing "I have decided to follow Jesus" over and over again in sunday school. It was at one point my favorite song. But as a child, I didn't really understand the meaning behind the song until I heard the story behind it.

It's a story that comes from India, about a man who gave everything to follow Christ, even his life. He would not turn away from the Savior he loved, and so he, and his family, were killed.

Hearing the story for the first time struck me as the words to that song I sang as a child suddenly came together. What a privilege it is to sing these words now, knowing that they come from the heart of a man who loved Jesus with all his heart.

Enjoy this powerful music video retelling by Pastor Richard Kannwischer of St. Andrews Presbyterian Church accompanied by music performed by Jadon Lavik. I hope this compelling story of how a families sacrifice to follow Jesus influenced their entire community blesses you as much as it did me.

Posted by Ian B on Thu, Oct 13, 2011 @ 08:00 PM http://blog.opendoorsusa.org/blog/bid/100844/I-have-decided-to-follow-Jesus-video

[child-like faith]

2011-10-12T09:48:00.000-07:00

Last night, I spent a few hours taking care of a sweet four-month-old baby and her four-year-old brother. At one point, I went from the baby's room to the kitchen. In passing the four-year-old, he looked at me and said, "I don't feel so good." I knew that this was the season of colds, little flu bugs and that sometimes kids just get sick. I asked him if it was his tummy that hurt on the inside.

"It's on the inside, but it's not my tummy."

I was a little confused. So, I asked a few more questions as to where it hurt on the inside.

"My heart hurts," he told me.

Oh.

He then went on to explain how earlier in the day he was angry with his mother for not sitting next to him when he had asked. He explained that his heart hurt from getting so upset and angry with her.

"It's not her fault," he told me in the middle of the story, "It's my fault. I got angry."

Somewhat in awe of the depths of this conversation and somewhat looking for a door to continue the dialogue, I asked him if he had asked Jesus to forgive him for getting angry earlier with his mother.He shook his head no. I then asked him if we should ask Him now. He shook his head yes.

We moved over to the couch and each took a turn praying. He prayed for God to forgive him for getting angry. And, then I prayed over the little man, asking God to continue to build and craft him into a godly young man.

It's no wonder that Jesus calls us to have child-like faith. So many times, Christ uses the little ones that I watch and take care of to speak truths and show me pictures of who He is. Last night was another occasion as I thought about how this little man, at the age of four, felt convicted of his sin.

There were a few things that stand out to me from this dialogue:

1. The little guy was honest about his conviction and that his heart hurt. I think that so often, as adults, we have watered down, reasoned or learned to cover up our convictions to save face or something. Yet, it's through conviction that the Lord strips down the man-built things in our lives to replace and build up the eternal, Christ-honoring, Kingdom things. It's a good thing to have your heart hurt and to feel conviction!

2. The little guy owned up to his own sin. He was adamant that it wasn't his mom's fault or anybody's fault, but that it was his own. How often, again, do we reason with ourselves that our sin isn't that bad or that it's really no big deal? Or how about blaming our sin on our circumstances? If it hadn't been for the crazy driver... I was just overwhelmed and stressed. I couldn't help myself...

3. The weight of sin that the little man felt was heavy. Much like the importance of being honest, feeling the impact and weight of one's sin is important. It puts us at a disadvantage as we mentally, verbally or emotionally lessen the severity of our sin in our lives. That sin was the what nailed Jesus Christ to the cross... no matter the size. It should be felt heavily and make us "not feel so good" as the little man last night experienced.

4. It isn't finished until we take our conviction to Jesus. It's easy to talk about our conviction. It's easy to dismiss it as irrelevant. Or to straight up ignore it. But, it's much more challenging and difficult to take our filthy sin to the Lord and ask His forgiveness. Yet, on the other side of bringing it to the Lord, there is an abundance of joy and peace. His forgiveness washes us clean. We can truly leave our burden and convictions at the cross. Jesus finished it there. We can leave it there.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses,

let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely,

and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,

looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith,

who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross,

despising the shame, and is seated

at the right hand of the throne of God.

Hebrews 12:1-2

Prayer Collage

2011-10-09T10:41:00.000-07:00

It's Sunday morning. I'm sitting comfortably on a couch in a friend's house in San Francisco. It's foggy outside, but you can see the sun starting to peak through the clouds. A sweet, eight-year-old boy is next to me. We're talking. Last night, as I was putting him to bed with his siblings, he asked several great questions. Does God speak? How can we hear Him? How do we really know that Jesus was God's Son? What's a prophet? The questions went on and on.

Prayer. Missions. Serving. Impact. All of these things are constantly on my mind.

I pulled up the website for Operation World this morning and watched a prayercast with the little man next to me. We listened as voices and faces from around the world were shown on the video clip. He commented on different accents and faces from around the world. And, I was just reminded of the greatness of God's Kingdom, how He is pushing the boundaries out farther and how He is using us in accomplishing His mission.

Pray. It will change you. It will change others. It will change this world.

Airports, Tattoos and Sunsets

2011-10-06T23:33:00.000-07:00

I slipped on a pair of blue earrings that my dear friend from Romania gave me.

There. Done. Ready to go.

This afternoon was a travel day for me... so I was kicking it in comfort with little worries toward the togetherness of it all. For an outsider, I was probably too bright. Bright pink shirt. Green Sperry shoes. Favorite blue jeans.

I was dropped off at the airport. I made my way in to the kiosk for my designated airlines. Within moments, I pressed the right buttons to print off my boarding pass and was heading toward security. A group sang and cheered at the arrival of someone to my right. The security guard checked my boarding pass and identification. Smile. Goodbye.

Good to go.

On the other side of the security check point, I slipped my shoes back on. Quickly looking over the terminal map, I located the coffee shop closest to my gate and headed there.

Coffee in hand. I wandered through the people along the wall looking for an open outlet near a chair or table. Nothing. I resorted to sitting on the floor by an outlet that I had spied earlier. I settled in. People came and went. It was the usual. But, I'm intrigued by the usual. So, sometimes I would watch the movement of people passing. Smiling as some people went by or catching bits of conversations. Stories unfolding and playing out in every direction I looked.

About forty-five minutes before my gate was open for boarding, a guy came by and asked if he could sit and use the outlet next to me. Of course. I had seen him pass by earlier and welcomed him to join me on the floor as we both awaited our flights.

My start point was his connecting point. He told me where he had come from and where he was going. Twenty-seven-years old. Works on, builds and sells motorcycles. Tattoos scattered all across his arms, hands, chest and back. He showed me his favorites. I noticed the trend of skulls and grenades. He mentioned his Emo haircut and that he cut it recently. Pulling out his ID for the volunteer work he does at a juvenile delinquent facility, he showed me his once-was look. Oh, and did I mention that he is the son of a congressman from his home state?

All in all, despite our vast differences in both appearance and person -- him with his many tattoos and bad boy gangsta look, me in my bold color cloths with no tattoos -- we had a great time conversing for forty-five minutes. I'm sure to those passing by us thought us to be an odd pair talking of kids, traveling, bikes or of places. But, I always wonder about these random conversations and run-ins... perhaps they aren't so random after all.

On the plane, the man next to me was completely different. He was from Alaska, heading to California on business. He was clean cut and had a gentle temperament about him. He owed a boat, a ship, in the freighting business in Anchorage. We spoke briefly. Then he slept while I read... the two hours passed quickly. We said goodbyes as quickly as we said hellos. Our paths once again went separate ways as we resumed our task at hand.

As we came into the bay area, the gray-blue water stretched out to the horizon where it meet the setting sun. The colors were rich and deep, extending as far as they possibly dare to the north and south. It was absolutely beautiful. I closed my book and stared out the window at the sky. God's fingerprints and signature are everywhere I look - I don't entirely understand how people walk by unaware of it. Soaking in awe of who He is, I wondered who else in the hundred or less people on board followed Him. I wondered if the guy in the airport would one day be a follower of Jesus, despite his worldly and rebellious heart. Musings, thoughts... prayers...

The plane landed and I headed toward the door. Yes. This weekend will be an adventure, for sure.

After all, it's always an adventure with Him.

This is War

2011-09-30T03:30:00.000-07:00

(secret church)

2011-09-28T05:00:00.000-07:00

God started some major stirring in my heart last year. He began to plant seeds of vision. His vision. Then He brought like minded messages and people my direction. He continued to build me. He continued to stretch me. And, he still is.

This past week, I started listening to David Platt's sermons called (secret church). David understands one of the major problems in the Western church is that believers don't take God as serious as the secret church where millions of followers of Jesus worship in secret and practice their faith behind closed doors. To take it to the streets or if they are exposed, they will face prison, torture and even death. Yet, these believers, these followers of Jesus are devoted to God and His Word.

Again, God is using David's words and encouragement to confirm and plant things from Him in my heart. God continues to expose His heart for this world of prodigals to me. And, continues to deepen my heart in such a way that can't sit still. David mentions this in one of the sermons - that we don't study God's word so that we are simply enriched and know God's Word better. But, we study God's word so that we are equipped to spread it out further. We are not - should not be! - only receivers of God's Word, but reproducers of it.

Equip. Reproduce. Spread out.

Images fill my mind as I mediate and think on this idea of the Church. More and more, I want to see this world shaken, things stirred, buttons pushed and boats rocked as the Church experiences the heart of God in such a way that they simply cannot stay the same, that they cannot sit still and that they cannot keep quiet. I want to see the Church equipped to reproduce God's Word and to spread it out to all corners of this world. I once heard another pastor talk about how our God is a God of multiplication. Everything you see Him do reproduces and multiples. It's makes sense then that the way He works in His people reflects His methods.

After this summer in Europe, living with the intention of equipping the church among the Roma people, reproducing God's Word in a small, Roma village and spreading it out of the wall of the church and to the streets of the village and on to neighboring villages, I was somewhat concerned about returning to the front row parking spot, latte sipping, comfortable American church. I was hesitant to jump back into social circles where all we do in the Christian church is get together for coffee and talk about our struggles and life. It's not bad, but it's not a habit that I want to have (again). Rather, I want to be on the edge of the Kingdom pushing it out further into untouched territory. I want to be instrumental in equipping the Church to go out AND be used to bring life to a lifeless and dead land.

This past Sunday, I made it back to my church. I moved in... late... found a seat with my sister in the very back corner of the room. There was about a thousand people there getting ready to settle in for the sermon. I made my rounds saying hello to the familiar faces that I missed all summer - hugs, stories and more hugs. The music started and I made my way back to my seat. I waved hello to more familiar faces and hugged a few others while gradually making my way to back corner.

Once again, juggling a cup of coffee, my Bible and a notebook, I was finally set for the sermon. Immediately, our teaching pastor explained that we were starting a new sermon series called Salt+Light. The sermon landed in Matthew chapter five where Jesus is addressing the disciples. He talks to the professing followers of Christ and, using the metaphor of salt and light, explains that they are the salt of this earth and the light of the world. (If you are interested in the full sermon, click here to listen to it.)

My heart pounded with joy and peace and excitement all at once. Many of the things God is putting on my heart, the places He was taking me, the words He has spoken to me were mentioned in the sixty-minute sermon. I wasn't stepping back in to my church only to be caught in the routine of things again, but I am stepping back into a church who is learning and growing to be intentional and missional in living as I am learning and growing.

All this to say is that, as David says in (secret church), we are not here for us, we are not at church for ourselves, but we are learning, growing and equipping so that we can go out from here. Everything that David teachings and shares on in his sermons during (secret church), he's made available online so that you can pass along what you learn to others, so that you can make disciples of Christ--both locally and globally.

Sunday Afternoons and Game Plans

2011-09-26T12:36:00.000-07:00

Yesterday afternoon, I buried myself under a warm blanket and pulled a book in close to me. The wind blew hard outside and raindrops hit the window. I had a list of things that I could do. I always have a list of to-do's. This time the list could wait.

Ishmael.

The story began as all stories do, but two hours later when I put the book down, the story succeeded in leaving me wanting to finish, to know more, to find out the final destiny of the characters. It had been a while since I was pulled into a good story that left me wanting more. The book is sitting and waiting on my bookshelf for the next moment when I can put the busy, demanding schedule of the day aside to slip into the story and lives of the characters in Ishmael.

Today arrived. It's Monday. And, as always, the madness of Monday followed. Yet, despite the unrelenting schedule and obstinate to-do list, my thoughts have been filled with ideas and formulating plans for the days to come.

Perhaps the ideas are endless because it's the beginning of a new season. Perhaps it's just coming back from being away for the summer. Perhaps it's just because.

Regardless, I love days filled with thoughts, ideas, planning, creating and organizing.

The days to come are going to be filled with great things. Even more than the excitement and joy of my own plans, the waiting and watching for the plans that God has laid out and is orchestrating is even greater. He already knows what He's planned and His thought towards me.

Now as a character in His story and the suspense, the mystery and enticement of how He is going to finish this story has me pulled in just as much as the story of Ishmael. God is up to something... up to something good. Real good.

Monday isn't a day filled with dread because it begins another week of work. But, it's a day filled with excitement and wonder as the Story of God continues to play out. Daily, I get to discover what He has had planned and written. I get to see His personality and creativity displayed in how He writes and moves... not in just my story, but in all the stories around me.

So, Monday bring your best... I'm ready to discover the plans of God hidden in it. I'm ready to plan and prepare for the things that He has for today, for now.

[seven]

2011-09-20T03:00:00.000-07:00

What if you could change the world? What ifit began in your city? What if it began now?

Startingtomorrow, alongside with several other churches in the Portland area, my churchis fasting and praying for the city of Portland. It's our heart and desire as ONE church tosee God move in this city that is too well known as a liberal, pluralistic, stick-it-to-the-man bastion of pagan hedonism. What if this city that we know and love changed?

What if the Gospel of Jesus Christ left the walls of the church and spilled out into the city streets? What if God stepped foot into the city of Portland?

If you live in the Portland area, please join us for the next seven weeks, praying and fasting every Wednesday at a different location, and see God move. The times and locations are on posted on the website: www.sevenpdx.org

Seven Promo from JP Watson on Vimeo.

Left Brain, Right Brain

2011-09-19T10:50:00.000-07:00

This world is composed of people. And, people are composed of thoughts, ideas, feelings and rhythms. We all do much of the same thing... differently.

Our uniqueness is like a painter's signature. We are a walking, living, breathing piece of art designed to display the artist's talent and creativity. Much like the famous painters and artists throughout time, each piece carries a fingerprint of the master artist. Something that identifies the piece of art. Something that proves it's originality and authenticity of the masterpiece at hand.

We are the canvas that God paints upon. Our design is intentional. The picture we display is purposeful. There is a picture that Christ is painting. Collectively, together, we display a completeness to this image that is undefinable in earthly terms. God never intended us to look the same. He never desired us to be just like the guy to our left or to our right. But, He designed us in such a way that standing next to the guy to our left or to our right, we would see something bigger than we could if we stood on our own.

Our strength is not in our sameness, but our strength is found in our oneness.

Who has Christ designed you to be? How did He form you? How did He shape your thinking or your personality? Have you stayed true to the artist's design? Have you avoided counterfeits of you to be made? Or, other artists of this world mark on the masterpiece Christ designed? If so, know that He is able and willing to restore you as He designed you.

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand,that we should walk in them.[ Ephesians 2:10 ]

So, What Did God Do?

2011-09-16T11:28:00.000-07:00

After short-term, or even long-term, mission trips, the common question of what did God do is always asked. Sometimes it's the first question out of someone's mouth. Other times it follows the questions of how you've adjusted back to your country or if you would ever go back to the country you came from. Nonetheless, the question of what happened is always asked.

I've spent some time thinking about this question. It's probably been about three weeks now. I started thinking through it when I was still in Romania and continued thinking about it as I moved from that side of the world to the other. Even on this side, the question still lingers.

So, what did God do?

At first, I thought about how we ask this question is such a flippant way sometimes. As if we went to the circus to see a famous performance. We step out of our normal, everyday life into an environment that feels different, smells different, speaks different and acts different than our own. And, as soon as we step into this unfamiliar place, we look for God and for what He's doing.

In a way, it was somewhat different for me. I didn't go to find out what God is doing. I went to be a part of what He is doing. I didn't change my behavior to fit the environment and culture that I was stepping into, but I was the same me there as I was here. I did the same things there as I do here. I played with kids (and lots of them!). I prayed for and over people. I shared about the things that God had been teaching me. I was still clumsy. I still dressed the same. I still learned the same way. I was still me.

All that to say, it wasn't as if God wasn't present and there. He was! In fact, because I went from a country and a place where I saw what He was up to and was available for His use, I was able to easily step into the things He was doing in another country and another place.

While I was there, my heart and desire for the time I spent in His Word and with Him was to reflect and mediate on who He was. It wasn't to find out who I was. It wasn't to work on a problem area in my life. Nor was it to request Him of anything. It was to just focus my heart, my mind, my soul on Him. And, many of the times, I found myself reading Isaiah 40 and/or Psalm 103. I spent time just marveling at the greatness of God. And, whatever else was to come my way, so be it. But, for me, I just wanted to spend time looking at Him and who He is.

Throughout the time I spent in Romania, there were different parables from the New Testament that arose that really resonated with me. Sometimes I felt like I was sitting there watching the actual parable play out. Other times I gleaned wisdom and insight from the given parable pressed on my heart or continually mentioned. While I spent my time and focus on the Lord and who He is, He brought about the things, stories, Scriptures and parables that I needed. In someways, it's difficult for me to say, "This is it! This is exactly what God did." I certainly saw Him work and change things in and around me.

But, for us, for God and I, the best way to put what happened was a deepening to our relationship. Not only to I want to be drawn in closer to the Lord, but I want depth to our relationship. I want to be deepened by Him and for Him. I want to be so enveloped by Him, out so far in the depths of who He is and His love, that my feet don't touch the earth. And, this initial trip to Romania is one of the instances where He took me out a little farther and deepened me just a little bit more. And, Lord-willing, this season back in the States will be another time of deepening in our relationship.

On the other hand, the question of what God did is so needed to be asked and to be told. God is on a mission. He is building His Kingdom and moving in mighty ways. Sometimes we need to step away from everything and everyone we know to either see Him building His Kingdom, be a part of the building, or to experience His Kingdom so that we can share with those at home in order to expand their vision and knowledge of God and His mission. Many times, short-term trips are for those going and for the place they came from. Perhaps God pulls one of us for a short season to a different place to teach us something that is necessary for the city, the church, the people we know or our families we left at home. So, when people ask what God did, it's so important to share what you saw and what is on your heart because it's likely that something there will be used by God for the person here.

So, what did God do?

God showed His love -- His unending, infallible, deep love to a little Gypsy village in southern Romania. He showed His love in the church there and it spilled out into the streets. Believers and non-believers saw and felt it. Romanians and Gypsies shared it. From the littlest child to the older generation, His love could not be hidden from them. I know they felt it and saw it because I also felt and saw it. His heart for the lost souls, the prodigal sons and daughters of this world, the troublemakers, the neglected and rejected people was laid out, open and vulnerable to all. He desires the hearts of the people in that little Gypsy village. He longs for communion and fellowship with them. And, among many of them, I saw Him soften their heart. I saw Him plowing the ground, planting seeds and, no doubt, will hear of a great harvest from that place. But, also my prayers are for a revival in such a way that will move throughout other Gypsy villages in Romania. Perhaps it will spill over into other countries... and be carried throughout the world. Simply because this little village experienced the deep love of God this past summer.

The work is plenty but the laborers are few. Perhaps His plan is going to take you to Romania. Perhaps to the Gypsy people. Perhaps He is going to take you to Asia or Africa. Perhaps He is going to take you to your neighbor. He is not looking for the most talented person or the most skilled. He is looking for the willing and available person. Is that you? Perhaps He desires to deepen you? Or to show you how He is building His Kingdom? Or use you to help in building His Kingdom?

God is working. His work is not done. He is certainly not done with the little village I called home for the past two months. In fact, in many ways, it's just the beginning of what God is doing there...

Memory Loss

2011-09-03T14:04:00.000-07:00

I've readjusted nearly to my regular schedule here back at home. It was an easy transition for me. I feel comfortable and back into the routine of things already.

Romania is a sweet memory that I keep savoring. It's like I went to Narnia and I've returned filled with wonder and excitement by my time there. I'm waiting and watching for Aslan to send me there again. I can't hardly wait to go back...

There are a few strange things about being back. One, for instance, is that I am in a familiar place with familiar people. I hear them talk of the summer and things they did. I know the people they were with, the places they went and the type of things they did. I can paste together an image in my brain. But, it's not real. It's an image that I created... from things I knew in the past. But, the truth is that they aren't real. I didn't experience them nor see them.

It's strange to think that I have no memories of this place from this summer. It's such a surreal feeling. In someways I feel like I'm moving in slow motion in a fast pace world. And, other times, I'm moving at a fast pace in a slow world.

But, I have images from heaven. Images that can't be found on earth nor can they be described with mere words. Images that bleed from heavenly places and leave one with a longing for a place such as Narnia. Images that leave you with a good restlessness that keeps you looking for the extraordinary things of God in an ordinary place.

Once you've tasted and seen a glimpse of heaven there is no turning back. Nor would you want to.

A million questions and a British accent.

2011-09-01T15:12:00.000-07:00

Cars. Trains. Planes. Goodbyes. Hellos. Passing by.

The days are a bit of a blur.

I can't remember the last time I got more than four hours of sleep before arriving in the US.

Otopeni airport, Bucuresti, Romania. I waited and waited in the airport for my check-in to open. Waiting can sometimes be the hardest part about traveling - especially on return trips because you get caught in the tension between where you were and where you're going. But, on the other hand, waiting can be the most entertaining and beneficial time you have from people watching to processing.

Finally, after hours of waiting, I boarded my plane for the Netherlands. I had always wondered if Dutch airlines were tailored toward taller people and was SO pleased to find out that they were. My flight from Romania to the Netherlands was perhaps the most comfortable flight I've been on.

I snuggled up against the window and watched the world beneath me as we flew. Every once and a while the man sitting next to me would leave over to peak at the sights below. And, next to him sat a British man. Across the isle sat his two sons and wife.

The youngest son sat the furthest away from me next to the opposite window. My guess is that he was six or seven years old.

"Hey Dad. Hey Dad." With his adorable British accent, he asked his father questions, shared ideas and gave suggestions for over two hours.

"Dad, I need gum."

"At the airport, Dad, I need to buy some spy gear."

"Hey Dad. Are we almost there?"

"Dad."

"Dad."

Despite having his mother sitting next to him, this little man needed the attention of his father.

It was sweet to see his adoration for his father and, though his father wasn't always entirely patient with his son, his love was evidently returned. He reminded me of Charlie's older brother. You know, the one whom Charlie bit his finger.

Anyway...

Fifteen hours in Amsterdam airport, uncomfortably sleeping on a chair, talking to a man from Sudan.

Followed by...

Eleven hours on a plane, talking to an Afghanistan man about his home country and the work he does with the US military as well as looking at pictures on his laptop of Afghan children, countryside and military bases.

From Amsterdam over the top of Scotland across Greenland through Canada and finally arriving in the USA - the trip was nearing the end.

Thirty-something hours after leaving my home in a little gypsy village in southern Romania, I had finally arrived home.

I'm so glad to be here, to see my family, to catch up with friends.... and I so very much miss my little gypsy village.

But, regardless of my change of location, of people, of languages, of cultures... the one thing that doesn't and hasn't changed is the Lord. So, I rest in that as I reset myself to this time zone and the cooler weather.

Thank you all for your many prayers, your love, your e-mails and encouragement. You were instrumental in what the Lord was doing in Romania and I can't wait to share the stories of what He did through you soon!

Love and blessings ~~~

Speaking with the Prodigal

2011-08-28T12:32:00.000-07:00

The past two months, I've felt like I've lived in one of Jesus' parables - the parable of the prodigal son. It's not that I've been a particular person in it, but rather I've been watching a modern-day, gypsy variation of this story.

A godly man in the church here has two sons. His eldest son is married with a beautiful wife and an adorable child. His other son is the prodigal. The prodigal doesn't want anything to do with the Lord nor with church. He's living in deliberate rebellion.

The Prodigal. It's become his nickname and code name among us. He's a twenty year old man who drinks, smokes and loves his ladies. It's easy to determine when he's coming because of the music loudly blaring from his car as he drives through the village. His car is a bright, almost-neon color that makes it easy to spot him from afar.

Over the past two months, I've talked to the prodigal off and on. His English is minimal. But, he tries to speak with me as if he was fluent. Humor aside, it's been interesting dialoguing with him. He most often will say flattering things, yet his knowledge of English ends there and he ends his own conversation.

He knows a few other things, that if spoken to slowly, he can carry on a limited conversation. The other day, as I was walking through the village to the house of one of my English students, I saw him. He came my way. So, I stopped and talked with him for a few moments. He struggled through the coversation. I eventually said my goodbyes as my Romanian was just as limited as his English and I didn't want to carry on the conversation further (it was full of silly nonsense such as him coming to America with me).

This prodigal - the prodigal - is on my prayer list. I've been praying for him over the course of the past two months and will continue to be praying for him. In a way, it's different in that he's not one of my students and aside from interacting on the street, the smiles and winks he's sent my way, I've had limited interaction with him and limited information about it. But, in this season, God's given me a heart to pray for him. A heart to pray for a son to return to his father. Even greater than his return to his earthly father, a return to his Heavenly Father.

This young man loves the world and all it has to offer.

This young man is just as the rebellious son in Jesus' parable of the prodigal son. I'm not sure I will ever read that story again without visualizing this young, Gypsy man with his loud music and fast car.

Before you gasp and question why I even spoke with this young rebel, let me tell you how God has used this living parable. I've seen the heart of a father love his son regardless of his rebellion (though he doesn't approve). But, even more, in this season, I've seen deeper into the heart of God and his love for his rebellious and worldly children. I've seen the heart of God for us.

The prodigal son. It's not just words on paper, but it's flesh and blood. The prodigal son has a name. He has a story. He has a heart. And, God wants his heart. He's a patient and kind Father. He's waiting and desiring for His son to return.

This Gypsy prodigal is still living out his story, and my prayers are that his story ends as the parable that Jesus shared with us. That this son, this prodigal, returns to his father - not just his earthly father, but his Heavenly Father, whose heart for him is full of good and life for His son.

So, in the end, speaking to the prodigal has been beneficial - he has my prayers and I've seen deeper into the heart of God. Perhaps someday I will return to this Gypsy village to hear how this prodigal's story has played out and, Lord willing, he will return home.

You know you're making progress when...

2011-08-24T08:33:00.000-07:00

... your students always think of English when they see you. For instance, when at a loud Gypsy wedding, you ask your fourteen-year-old student there who a particular wedding participant is. With the music so loud, he couldn't hear me despite that we were standing next to each other. He didn't understand what I was asking, so I pointed to the guy and mentioned the white shirt that he was wearing. He said something to me. I couldn't hear him. Again, I asked. He pointed to a lady and said, "Marsha." Again, not who I was asking about. I said no. He then said (loudly in my ear) "Albastru - blue." I then realized that what I asked and what he thought I was asking was completely opposite. I was asking him who the groom that married his cousin was and he thought I was quizzing him on the colors in English. I laughed. And, we finally figured out who the guy was - someone from another village.

... one of your student's who doesn't attend church and doesn't come from a Christian family tells you that even though you are leaving on Monday, she is going to be praying that God brings you back.

... another student, when asked about future plans, says that they are unsure of what they're going to do and that it depends on what God has for him next.

... yet another student, a twelve year old boy, faithfully attended our prayer time with all of us foreigners and the adults in the church. He has the potential to become a pastor.

... an adorable five year old walks down the street singing the worship song you taught him. And, again, when you see him, he sings it in both English and Romanian.

... the non-Christian families in the village love you because you love their children. And, on several occasions, various mothers come to the prayer time with their child(ren), even though they don't attend church.

... there are more students in class on Test Day than when it's just a regular class.

... you can navigate your way through other villages, take shortcuts through fields and walk two hours from the train station to your village.

... you can listen in on conversations and understand what is being said. I felt bad for the lady who was talking about us on the train. When she mentioned to her husband something about us and I replied, she was rather startled.

... you teach English, build mud houses and attend weddings all in ONE day.

... you and an eleven year old Gypsy boy plan to continue English lessons via Skype.

... you see God answer the little prayers that you pray AND know that the big prayers you prayed are watering the seeds you planted in the soil now. One of these days, someone is going to reap a mighty harvest among these children and in the upcoming generation. The little bit that I've been blessed to experience is heaven on earth. Literally.

Update: Women's Conference

2011-08-20T23:03:00.000-07:00

The Women's Conference went well. Thank you for praying! We had around thirty women show up and really enjoyed visiting with them and among them. The event was held at the church.

After opening up in prayer, I shared from first Peter. I shared on how Peter is calling and encouraging us to live in an obedient and expectant manner of Christ's second return. And, how important it is for us to be of sound judgement and a sober spirit in our behavior and thinking. Instead of living on an emotional roller coaster, we need to maintain a proper eternal perspective on life. Living this was should lead us into a watchful pursuit of holiness. This sets us up for praying purposefully and for full fellowship with the Lord.

Peter also called us to be fervent in our love. Peter's use of the word "fervent" isn't irrational passionate love, but it's means to be stretched out. It's like an athlete who trains for a big event. The athlete moves at one's maximum capacity and pushes/stretches to one's limit. This love - fervent love - puts the spiritual good of another believer ahead of ourselves. And, this love covers a multitude of sins. It doesn't imply that discipline of a sinning, unrepentant church member should be overlooked, but it's indicating that a Christian should love in a way that is always ready to forgive insults and unkindness.

Be hospitiable to one another. Peter again calls us into action. Love is at times intensely practical. And, Peter's implications are not directed just toward those we know, but also toward strangers.

Peter mentions how each of us have been granted spiritual gifts to minister to the body of Christ. It's a gift soley given, not one that you can work for or earn. Peter emphasises that the gift given is not for the reciever's benefit but for the benefit of others in the church and how we are to be good stewards of another's resources. We are to be good stewards of the gifts and resources that God has given to us.

Peter implies in verse 11 that there are two categories of gifts: speaking and serving. Those who speak should speak the utterances of God and those who serve should serve by the strength of God.

The end goal of all that we do, of all that Peter calls us toward, of our hearts and behavior should be that God may be glorified. That is the goal of everything.

After I shared on 1 Peter 4:7-11, another Romanian woman working with our team shared her testimony. She has an amazing testimony of the Lord's faithfulness and provision in her life. She was able to encourage many of the women.

Following the messages, we had a time of prayer and then finished the evening fellowshipping with one another over juice and cookies.

All in all, it went so well. And, I have no doubt it was on behalf of your prayers and partnership with us! Thank you, thank you, thank you for serving, praying and participating with us in the women's conference!

---

1 Peter 4:7-11

The end of all things is near; therefore, be of sound judgment and sober spirit for the purpose of prayer. ⁸ Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins. ⁹ Be hospitable to one another without complaint. ¹⁰ As each one has received a special gift, employ it in serving one another as good stewards of the manifold grace of God. ¹¹ Whoever speaks, is to do so as one who is speaking the utterances of God; whoever serves is to do so as one who is serving by the strength which God supplies; so that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belongs the glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.

Little Victories and English Tests in Gypsy Bars

2011-08-12T03:03:00.000-07:00

As of right now, the amount of time here is Romania is diminishing quickly. I have 17 days, 419 hours, 25176 minutes and 1510599 seconds until Tuesday, 30 August 2011.

One may think that I'm counting down the days until I can take a hot shower... or enjoy the foods that I'm familiar with.... or understand the language without having to think twice about it.... or to wear different cloths than the handful I've been mixing and matching for the past six weeks. One may think that I'm anxious to have real coffee again. Or perhaps to drive a car and move about the world outside of this one little Gypsy village.

One may think that... but it's quite the opposite.

I watch the days coming and my heart sinks with sadness at the thought of leaving my village, my church and my people. Most of all, my heart sinks at the thought of leaving my trouble making boys.

This past week has been the most challenging and the most encouraging. It's been low-lows and high-highs. But, the little victories I've seen have moved me to tears. I want to tell you about one...

On Wednesday, David (one of the rowdy boys) came to English. He hadn't been to English in nearly three weeks and I felt like we had lost him. He is caught between the world of the younger boys who attend and the older boys who drink, smoke and chase girls. He lives in an abusive family. His brother is beaten by his father constantly and no doubt David has meet the same at some point or another. In the first week of arriving, David found a special place in my heart and my prayers. Under his cool and tough demeanor, his heart is soft and young. So, when David came to class on Wednesday, I was praising the Lord quietly inside me!

You should know that the English classes are held inside the church. I am so glad because I want the church here to become a familiar and comfortable place for these kids to be. I also want to provide a place that feels safe and full of love for them. So, perhaps when things go wrong or become unsafe, they know that the church is a safe and loving place that they are welcomed to.

Toward the end of English on Sunday, class got a little rowdy. Several of the older boys who hadn't been around for weeks were there. Eventually, kids made their way out of class and headed home. I stood with Ieremia and David by the gate in front of the church.

"David, I'm so glad you came to English today."

Ieremia translated for me.

David smiled.

"I've really missed not having you around."

Again, Ieremia translated and David smiled.

"David, would you come to church tonight? It's at 7pm."

Ieremia laughed and told me he won't come. David looked at Ieremia for the translation to find out what I had asked.

Ieremia translated.

David said yes.

I said, "Really? I would love for you to come. You can sit next to me. "

David, smiling, said yes. Ieremia and him walked away as Ieremia told me that he was lying and wouldn't be there. Ieremia on the other hand said he might come.

Several hours later, right before dinner, I saw David on the street again with another boy, Dan.

"Hey - are you guys coming to church tonight?"

Rosana, a Romanian friend, translated. The boys asked what time it began.

Seven. Tonight.

They said ok. And, we went seperate ways.

After dinner, we went to church. Two boys sat in the back behind us. One boy, Marius, came and sat behind us. Later he said that he just wanted to hear how we (foreign girls) sang. During the worship, he would lean forward and listen carefully.

Church began at 7pm.

I watched the door. Hopeful.

David didn't come. I had hoped. But, also was not surprised that he didn't show up.

We sang. Didae shared a sermon. Otila shared her testimony. And, Cristi's dad got up to share the second sermon of the night.

Just after he got up, the church door in the back opened and David came in with Dan. They quietly slipped in and found a seat.

My heart felt like it was going to explode from JOY! I wanted to cry, sing, shout and dance around like a crazy person. David came. He keep his word. (Victory!) He came to church (Victory!) And, he heard Scripture - one verse: "For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them." Ephesians 2:10

David's family doesn't attend church. And, I am pretty sure that either he hasn't attended a church service in a long time if not ever. He and Dan sat for about twenty or so minutes. Then, got up and slipped out. They didn't hear the sermon from Cristi's dad. But, the heard him read Scripture - they heard the Word of God.

I lost my ability to focus during that twenty-minutes. My heart and prayers were directed toward David. Something significant had happened... and yet it was only the beginning. Please keep praying for this boy! He needs you and your prayers!

The next day, David came back to English for the test that I promised the kids. Two days in a row, he was in English. Again, my heart rejoiced. He nearly finished his test before taking off. He didn't know the last five words in English. I couldn't just leave it undone. I left the class with Hannah. Taking David's test, I walked down the street to the bar where he was watching the grown men play cards while they drink. I called to David and had him come over to me. We moved over to a small table and together walked through the last five questions. I explained to him the things he didn't understand. He finished his test.

I gave him a high five and headed back to the church to the rest of the class.

David doesn't come to anything else we as a team put on. He doesn't come to church. He doesn't hang around. But, he comes to English. And so, the English class, though some may think it's only purpose is to learn a new language... it's purpose is far greater.

The purpose of English is to show, display, create and illustrate the Love of God to a group of rowdy boys who won't come to church. The purpose of English class is to have a welcoming class where the children feel safe and loved, where they can experience something different than they know at home and see how conflict and misunderstandings (which happens among the children) can be resolved lovingly and without violence or abuse. The purpose of learning English is far greater than learning English.

By the way...

2011-08-09T02:04:00.000-07:00

After our regular coffee and prayer time with the church family in the village, matters of business were discussed. Plans for the upcoming days for the rest of this week.

A conference. A conference for women. This weekend. But, not just our village of Padureni - we want to invite the women from the neighboring villages. It was discussed and decided.

And, then my name was mentioned. And again. And again.

Frate (Brother) Marian had told the church family that Liz was ready for the conference. That she was prepared and ready to share at a women's conference.

I laughed at the news of it. Of course, I am told that I'm ready to share just after plans were decided and made. And, honestly, I'm excited for sharing with the women here as well as from neighboring villages. I nodded my head in enthusiam.

My first two thoughts are to share on prayer and encouragement. But, of course, I need to talk with my Father and see what He thinks.

I do want to ask you though - would you commit to pray for the women's conference? Would you pray specificially that God would give me a message that encouraged, challenge and equip these women? A message that would draw their hearts, souls, body and mind to Him?

I would love to encourage the women with the news that you are praying. So, if you are committed to praying for this impromptu women's conference, would you please leave a comment below. I would love to see a hundred - even TWO hundred - of you covering this time of fellowship and teaching in prayer.

The conference is on Friday night at 7pm. (Remember that we are 10 hours ahead of you... so it would be early in the morning on Friday for those of you at home.)

The Preface to a Brief English Lesson

2011-08-08T13:55:00.000-07:00

1:45p.m.

We were moments away from my favorite hour of the day.

Why?

Two o'clock is the beginning of my English class for my middle age group.

The interest is still there. Eighteen kids showed up.

Ready or not, here we go.

My plan for today was different. It began with a story.

I told the kids about the woman and her car catching fire - it happened just before I left the States. They listened (mostly).

And, then, I told them that each of us are like the woman driving in the smoking car - living life unaware of the danger we're in.

Just as we are like that woman, my brother was an example of Christ... he came to our rescue. He told us of the danger we are in and showed us how to get to a safe place.

If you aren't following Christ, you're in a smoking car on the verge of catching on fire. You are heading down a road that is dangerous and fatal. All the while, you are unaware of nearness of danger.

If you are following Christ, your job is to be like Jesus. Your job is to let those in the smoking cars know of the danger they are in! The moment you have to share with someone may be a one-time occurance such as this one-time run-in with the woman whose car was on fire. Other times, we may have the opportunity to be a faithful, continual presence in someone's life. Either way, our job is the same. There is a way to be saved from the danger looming ahead of us - and that way is by Jesus Christ.

The story was told. I encouraged the twenty or so children in the room to think about it, to think about the woman, to think about the fire under her car and to think about how Jesus, as illustrated through my brother, is running through traffic to alert us of the danger we are in.

Ah, deep breath.

Though my heart is for all of the children to hear God's heart for them, my heart was especially focused and intent on one participant to hear the heart of God - the one is no other than Ieremia (my translator). While I was telling the story and the children laughed and smiled at my foreign words and perhaps strange body language as I motioned with my hands, Ieremia was the one that was translating and transferring this story and this portrayal of God's heart to the language and ears of the children. Yet, all the while, Ieremia is not a follower of Jesus.

My request, my heart, my desire... is to saturate this young, fourteen-year-old boy in prayer. Please continue to pray for his salvation, for his heart, his vision. Pray that he will hear God speak to him and that he will be obedient and respond. Pray that he will be raised up in this village to be a leader in the church and in the things of God. Pray that in the next three weeks, there will be something that changes in him.

For those of you who wonder who this boy is and what he's like, click here to see a short video clip of him.

And, after the story... English began.

Welcome to Detention.

2011-08-04T09:57:00.000-07:00

Tuesday was rough. Well, not the entire day. But, from 2:00pm to 3:00pm, nothing aside from frustration appeared. It was English class for my middle age group. It seemed that everything that could go wrong went wrong. Some of my boys (the "troublemakers") were extra aggressive today. One hurt another child in the class. The jokes among them were endless. My young translator was tired and stopped translating everything. Every which direction that I looked I saw something amiss or gone wrong. I sent four boys home.

Wednesday came as did the boys. There was nearly twenty children in the room. Alright, some things needed to be announced. I gave the entire class three announcements concerning things in the classroom for the day and the rest of the week. There was no negogiating on any of it.

I stood, calling out the names of the four boys that I sent home yesterday. "The four of you meet me outside," I told them. "We need to talk."

The other kids laughed and jestered at the boys as they left. The assumed that they were in trouble. And, in part, that was true. But, there was more.

I left the classroom to my friend, Hannah. She was in charge. The only problem was that she didn't have a translator. The pastor's fifteen-year-old daughter stood up and grabbed a broom handle. She started moving around the circle of children with the broom handle as if to beat anyone who was out of line. It's partly her sense of humor. Instead, it caused chaos among the children in the room.

Meanwhile, the four boys and I ended up in a little room in the church. We closed the door. They looked at me, waiting to see what I had to say to them. I looked at them, praying for wisdom about what I needed to say to them.

"Here's the deal, guys. Yesterday was a mess. And, you were a big part of it. So, I sent you home. Brother Marian (the pastor) asked that you guys not join the class any longer. But, I don't want that. I want you to learn English. I want you to be around. So, here's my proposition. Instead of you guys joining all of us during the regular class meeting, let's set up a time that we can meet - just the five of us here - for English class on Fridays. You don't come Monday through Thursday, just Fridays. We'll still learn the same things as everyone else, but at a different time. Then you guys won't be a distraction and cause trouble with the other children, but you can still learn English. What do you say?"

Jon, one of the younger of the four, looked heartbroken. Along with Adi, he disliked the idea and wanted to join the others in class. Marius, one of the older boys, agreed. He was fine with it. The fourth was indifferent.

The emotion on Jon and Adi's face of being "kicked out" of English pulled at my heart.

"But, for today, I'll give you one chance to behave in class. Do you guys accept?"

The YES was unanimous. I had been given empty promises from them before, so I added some fine print to the deal.

"I don't want to have to ask you to leave if you misbehave. I don't want to raise my voice to talk over you or all of the children when you get overly excited or start arguing. You get one chance. One. Only one. There is little grace for today. And, if... IF... if you misbehave, I will come over and give you a high five. I don't want to create a scene. I don't want to disrupt class. If I give you a high five, that is your sign that you need to go home. Ok?"

They laughed at the crazy suggestion and we rejoined the rest of the class.

For the five minutes we had stepped into the little room to talk, the number of children in the main classroom increased. Twenty-two or so. More came later. One of the girls (13-year-old, I think) brought her little 2-year-old sister - she quietly rocked her during the class and eventually laid her across two chairs to sleep. It was an unusual classroom. Toward the end, Brother Marian brought four guests into the room and they listened and watched. Who they were - I don't know. Why they were there - no clue. By the end of class, we had twenty-seven in attendance. Yet, the class went smoothly and the children were obedient to instruction and attentive.

The four boys that I had talked to were on their best behavior. They quickly (and quietly) found their seats. When the children began to talk or get distracted, the four boys were the ones to hush the raising volume of voices or to sever the distractions and pull them back to the subject at hand. Everytime I came near one of them, they leaned back in their chair, fearful of the silent but meaningful high five.

The boundaries had been set. The love and concern was not diminished. But, for the sake of themselves as well as the sake of the other children, they had a choice to make - be obedient and respectful or instantly loose all rights and privileges to attend class.

In the same way, the Lord does the same to us. And, in providing boundaries and instruction, He is equipping us to advance to new levels and places as well as to protect us and those around us. His instruction isn't to stiffle us or harm us. It's for our benefit that He puts things in place, that He disciplines us, that He shows us grace.

So, while... I may be the teacher, I am also learning much from English class as I see the things of God lived out in front of me.

Life in Narnia

2011-07-29T05:39:00.000-07:00

There are four of us on our team from countries outside of Romania. One from Canadian and three from America. One of the things that we all agree upon is that time is a strange thing here. It moves forward at a fast pace, but it moves slowly. We all feel like we're living in Narnia. We're living out a lifetime, that when we step back through the wardrobe, we'll find out that only a few minutes had passed us by.

Our Narnia is a little gypsy village located in the southern part of Romania. We're slowly learning the language spoken here, but there's still a significant language barrier. We're becoming familiar with the roads and locations of villages. We see familiar faces and know people by names.

But, there are a few things that will never be familiar to us. I think perhaps it's one of those things where you are born into it to make entire sense. From the outside in, you'll never understand.

Today, after lunch, the four of us walked up to the little store down the street and purchased ice cream for our ~~host~~ family. The kids were estatic and the adults enjoyed sitting down to consume the sweet chocolate treat. Between the time we left and the time we arrived back at the house, only five to ten minutes passed by. But, in that small window, a young man from the poorer part of the village came by the house. He was sitting outside with Marian and Costelle. His name is Gheorghe and appears to be 19 or 20 years old. He sat solemnly at the table, disengaged from conversation.

We decided to give him one of the ice cream bars we had purchased. He held it. Not moving to open it. We passed the remaining ice cream bars out to the family. And, rejoined the adults outside under the tarp area. Marian and Costelle were fixing a thick plastic sheet to the bottom of the fence so that the chickens would remain in the garden area. We sat down to enjoy ice cream with them.

Gheorghe stood up and moved away from the table. We immediately noticed that one of his pant legs were rolled up, exposing a wound on the back of his left leg. It was obviously infected and painful. Though we only had topical medicine and bandages, we told them that we could help. I went in and grabbed my first aid kit (I think that I've given nearly a third of it away so far) and dug through to find bandages, antiseptic wipes to clean the wound and anything else that may be helpful. I had already given my neosporen away. Hannah pulled out her tube of neosporen.

We returned and helped clean, medicate and dress Gheorghe's wound. He sucked in his breath as the wound was cleaned. It stung. We asked how his got the wounds, but through the language barrier, we don't have a clear answer. We have about four theories... all of which could be wrong.

As a team, and knowing that the language barrier was one between us but not for God, we prayed for this young man. We prayed for healing over his wound and body as well as for him. We asked God to show Himself in the light of the situation to this young man and his family (his father has left them, he has nine siblings with four of them in an orphanage because they are so impoverished). We also prayed for Brother Marian as he is the pastor of the church here.

Despite the lack resources and many difficult issues here, we all loved that many people throughout the village come to this house when they need help. Many of them are not believers, but Brother Marian and his family - despite their own lack of - are so generous with the things and resources they do have. They give, they pray and they pour into the people of this village. They have made their home and the church of Padureni a safe place for everyone to come to when in need or trouble.

So, as you read this, please continue to pray for the church here in this village. Pray that there will be a revival among those in the church and that the love and power of God will spill over into the streets of this village. Pray that this village will be a source of impact and influence for the Kingdom in other villages as well. And, pray for the ongoing work here that the love of God and His salvation to these people are evident and known.

Love and blessings --

Liz

Learning New Languages

2011-07-25T00:46:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I was sitting in church. Even though I've only been here for three weeks, I've been apart of nearly fourteen or so church services. Half of the services have had a translator. The other half have been in Romanian with no translator.

Yesterday was a good day. The messages were really wonderful and encouraging. The language barrier is diminishing.

When our translator got up to share the third sermon of the service, I was able to continue to follow along with the Scriptures and message that he was sharing. It was excited as my need for a translator is minimizing.

I got to thinking about how it's the same with our relationship with the LORD.

Sometime when God speaks to us, we don't understand. We may have the inclination to leave or disguard what was said because the words spoken carry no meaning to us. We may overlook the situation or be carried off by our own thoughts. It would be easy to insist that He should speak to us in our own language, but there's something to be said for learning His language. And, there's great blessing hidden in speaking His language.

With learning a new language, there is much to be attributed to patience and persistence.

As we continue to sit in the presence of God and listen to Him, our understanding increases. Slowly we begin to pick up words spoken, gestures made and tone inflictions. If we were to leave early or mentally disengage, we wouldn't pick up on the language of God. It would be frustrating and discouraging as we open His Word only to realize that we haven't practiced as we should, we haven't studied and spent time in His presence and learning His Word as we might have.

While it's especially true of new believers, it's something that all believers go through at one point or another. Perhaps the season believers are expanding their vocabulary in the language of God.

As I am increasing my understanding of Romanian and able to follow conversations, the next step is to begin to speak it and converse with others. Likewise, as God speaks and teaches us, we are to share His Word and power with others.

It's a process. A lifelong season of growing. It's not easy at times but it's fruitful in the end.

So, my encouragement to you is to be diligent, persistent and patient with learning the language of God. In the end, I have no doubt that the Lord will use it to advance His Kingdom both in you and around you. Take the time to learn to speak as He does and to understand when He speaks His language. And, with that, see what happens.

My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me; and I give eternal life to them, and they will never perish; and no one will snatch them out of My hand. My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all; and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand. I and the Father are one.”

John 10: 27-30

Ten Things To Do In A Gypsy Village On Your Day Off

2011-07-22T03:48:00.000-07:00

10. Sleep in. Afterall, the neighbor had a party all night long and the music played from 11pm until 9:30am.

9. Eat French toast with an American, a Canadian and a Brit in the middle of a Roma village in southern Romania.

8. Fend off chickens who bite your fingers and toes because they are hungry. (By the end of breakfast, all four of us girls had our feet up on the chairs and kept our hands far away from the sight of any chickens).

7. Mix a Starbucks VIA packet with room temperature water, add a little milk and some sugar to enjoy a make shift latte (in a Nalgene bottle).

6. Watch funny YouTube videos with a Romanian, a Brit, a Canadian, an American and two Gyspy children.

5. Butcher a pig... well, ok, watch it be butchered. It's the means of their livelihood and will bring in extra income for the family. Our team is buying one leg for ourselves... perhaps a second leg for a team arriving in a couple weeks. It should last us a month. Yum!

4. Wash one's hair with No Risen shampoo. Without the gas tank hooked up, the water is deathly cold. In the middle of summer, you can acquire a cold by taking a full fledge shower in this water. It's pulled up from a when 15 m below ground.

3. Take advantages of baby wipes and clean your feet. It lasts for about 60 seconds, but it's a glorious minute and thoroughly enjoyed.

2. Learn more useful Romanian phrases, such as shut up, be quiet, I'm afraid, etc.

1. Skype with your family. Hear their voices, see their faces and realize just how much you miss them. But, also realize how much you are thankful for technology and the capability to Skype from a little Gypsy village in Romania acrossed five time zones and ten hours difference with the people you love the most.

English Lessons for Trouble Makers

2011-07-20T07:20:00.000-07:00

When I signed up for two months in Romania, I signed up to teach English. I imagined that I would need something that was intentional and relational in engaging with the Roma people.

It was a week before I left when I learned that I was the only one on the outreach that had signed up to teach English. I didn't have any idea of who I would be teaching, if the people had any exposure to the language before or if materials were available.

Well, there were no materials available aside from paper and a few minor things. The language exposure is sporadic. The age groups I was to teach -- EVERYONE.

The challenge faced me. Deep breath. Lots of prayer. Ready - set - go.

During the first two weeks, the mornings were filled with KidzGames. The children and teens were pretty pre-occupied with the games and the outreach teams that had come in for the outreach. The second week, in addition to the KidzGames, was a dental clinic. It was the first one in this village where the services were free. Between the games and clinic, the attendance was ok.

I was told me that perhaps there would be three or four students in each class. He wasn't sure of the interest or attentiveness of the Roma. Perhaps they would show up, perhaps they would show up a half an hour late... it was as unknown to him as it was to me.

Whether it's one student or twenty, the Gypsy people have amazed us. They have shown up on time - even early! They come with notebooks and pencils in hand to take notes. They continue to come and the attendance is more than two or three! It's ranges from eight to thirty even!

20 July 2011. Day 19.
English Class. 14:00. Ages 10-20.

We had fifteen students. Of the fifteen, only four of them were girls. Of the ten others, all of the trouble makers in the village were attending.

My translator is a boy of the name Ieremia (Jeremiah). He's fourteen and he's one of the ring leaders. He understands English better than he speaks it. But, he's also more proficient in speaking than many of the others. For the most part, he is a huge asset to the classroom; however, he's still fourteen and goofs off.

Sometimes I step back and look at the room ... I'm in awe. These kids have the choice to attend, it's not mandatory. And, they come. The trouble makers have the option of coming, and, for some unknown reason, they do!

While the challenge seemed insurmountable at the beginning of July, it's now reflective of the need as well as an incredible open door into the lives and stories of these young Gypsy children.

Please keep praying! We have five more weeks with them... last week the time seemed endless. Now, as I look at the eagerness and hunger for knowledge, love and acceptance among these young ones, the time seems all too short.

The handful of teens in the church attend as a result of their parents, but the likelihood of them being born-again believers is little to none. There's a lot of opportunity to bring the Gospel message to these teens and children. Your role in it is crucial - please, please pray for this village and these people. Pray for the opportunities to speak truth and for sensitive ears and heart to recieve truth. Though there is a church here, they are still very much an unreached people.

Again, thank you for your love and prayers on my behalf. Daily, I feel the impact and effect of them. You are a tremendous blessing to me and I can't wait to share stories and pictures with you when I return home. The Lord is faithful about bring the right people to the right place at the right time. I am beyond belief at the privilege He has given me to be here in a rural Gyspy village to serve Him.

---

Specific Prayer Requests:
Ieremia - my fourteen year old translator. He likes trouble. And, looks for it. He has the disposition of a leader. If cultivated and encourage, he could have a huge positive influence on the other teens in the village. Pray for his salvation.

David - Another fourteen year old. He wants to learn, but is easily influenced by other trouble makers. He comes from a very abusive home and has a very negative father influence. Pray for his salvation.

Alin (pronounced Aleen) - He's fifteen and attends church on a regular basis. He's a good kid with a willing heart to learn. He is not as influenced by the trouble makers, though he does hang out with them occasionally. Alin does the technical stuff at church (runs the laptop) but wants to learn more about the computer and how to use it more efficiently. Pray for his salvation. Pray for opportunity for him to continue to learn and develop technical skills in the high tech world. He has lots of potential.

Cristi - He is thirteen and is another trouble maker. His nickname is Bebe (pronounced: baby). And, tends to be more disruptive and tends to instigates mischief. Pray for his salvation and for postive influence.

Ema - She's twelve. Her parents are playing music on the streets of Spain and "working" (begging) for money. They left a month ago and will return probably in a month. Pray for her as she is lonely and desperately looking for genuine love.

Mirela - She is the pastor's daughter here. She has felt ill for the past couple days.

Daniel - The pastor's son. Please pray for him as he is learning English and that he will experience a genuine relationship with the Lord. He has a generous heart.

Jon (pronounced Yon) - He's not a trouble maker, but he's influenced by bad behavior occasionally. He is really eager to learn English and his attendance for the past three weeks has been flawless. Pray for his salvation and that he will grow into a godly man.

Adi - This afternoon, the pastor's son (Daniel - mentioned above) told me how he witnessed Adi's parents beating him. They were punching and kicking the 11-year-old boy. His face was bleeding. Beating is a common thing for the non-believers. It's a huge problem. And, it's heart breaking for a boy that you saw and talk to yesterday and knowing that he's not show his face today because he's in pain and hurting. Pray for Adi's protection, healing and salvation. Pray for his parents that they will be saved and cease to beat their children.

20 Hours, No Translator

2011-07-17T03:18:00.000-07:00

Everyone had left except for the four of us.

It was Friday night. For a few hours, we had no translator. The family we are staying with doesn't speak English. The four of us don't speak much Romanian. At dinner time, our "little" brother Daniel (who is twelve years old) came to let us know it was time for dinner. We sat around the table conversing through the few Romanian words we knew, the very few English words they knew and lots of hand motions.

Toward the end of dinner, we got a call from our returning Romanian team member. He won't be able to join us until tomorrow morning. That means we have twenty or so hours on our own ... without a translator.

Brother Marian invited us to go to another village with him and his wife, Mariana. The plan was to pick up his washing machine that was there to be fixed. We accepted. A few hours later, we piled into his station wagon. There was five seats and six passangers. We laughed as we scrunched together.

We drove through five or so villages until we reached our destination. The countryside with the setting sun was beautiful. Marian stopped by a store where Mariana ran in and purchased some Fanta and chocolate ice cream cones for us. When we arrived at Mariana's mother's house, we enjoyed her company, Fanta and ice cream. She was so overjoyed by our visit. We took pictures with her, got a tour of her garden (everyone has elaborate gardens here) and learned how she was Orthodox (while her only daughter, Mariana, is Protestant - much to her dismay).

We loaded in the washing machine, gave "Grandma" hugs and kisses, prayed for her and headed back toward our village.

To fully explain the adventure with words is impossible as to the actual experience. It was so fun and hilarious as we tried to communicate with each other. But, the amazing thing is that within the family of God, there is a universal language of love that is spoken among us. So, that was the language we spoke with each other that night. And, as a result, all six of us have memories and joys of the evening adventure.

Two Weeks of Gypsy Living

2011-07-15T15:00:00.000-07:00

It's been two weeks.

Two weeks of living in a Gypsy village.

Two weeks of fifty or so people spread out across two Gypsy houses, a church building and tents on the property.

Two weeks of friendships and fellowship.

And, two weeks that ended today as everyone except four of us (three Americans and one Canadian) left for home.

Over the last two weeks, the languages spoke among us were Romanian, Gypsy (differs from Romania - it's a street language), French, German, Kiswahili, British English, Canadian English, American English, Finnish, Spanish and a few more.

Our team for the past two weeks has been dividing and conquering as we have taken on a variety of roles and responsibilities here. Many were involved in KidzGames where through sports and competitions, children were engaged in playing and then listening to a lesson. Others on the street evangelism team and working with the local church in visiting non-believers in the village. This past week has included Romanian and Finnish dentists at a clinic established at the church. My role... is to teach English. They call me teacher. I have three age groups - adults, teens and children.

The open doors and relationships being established are amazing. The work of the local church here is unbelieveable. The work of God across the world ... indescribable. The faithfulness and sovereignty of our King is ever present and evident.

While I only have a very brief update from Romania and there is much, much more to tell... I encourage you to keep praying for the people in my village and for the work the Lord continues to do both here in Romania and across the world!

Love to you all --

Liz

ROMANIA: Prayer Requests

2011-07-02T01:48:00.000-07:00

Many, many of you are praying and covering my next two months in prayer. I cannot even begin to thank you for the gift of prayer that you so generously give. Knowing that you are praying and will be praying puts my heart at such ease and fills me with such peace. Your faithfulness and prayers are such a wonderful example and blessing to me. So, I thank you.

As later today I will be boarding a plane and trekking across the world, I just wanted to share a few specific prayer requests with you:

1. Protection and Safety. Please pray for my travels to Romania. I will be going through multiple airports, a bus ride and a train ride to get close to the gypsy village that I will be living in. There may potentially be a car ride or something beyond the train too. The trek over there is going to take nearly 24 hours. Pray for: safety, strength, discernment and protection.

2. Unity. The team that I will be joining and working along side is an international team. For the two month duration, there will be four of us: Nichole, Steve, Hannah and I. During the two months we are in Romania, there will be other teams coming in for shorter durations. Please pray for unity among the four of us for the two months as well as with the other participants on the team for a shorter duration. Also, pray for unity among the field team that works in Romania full time.

3. Romania. Pray for the country of Romania. It is a complex and broken land. Substance abuse, prostitution and violent crime is on the rise in Romania. It is also a country with one of the highest abortion rates in the world. Pray for healing on the country as well as men and women to step up and lead boldly and righteously.

4. The Church. Pray for the Evangelical Church in Romania. The Church is still suffering from the transition of being under Communism to new freedoms. Pray for flexibility and vision for the leadership and for wisdom regarding legalism and isolationism.

5. Children. Pray for the children of Romania. Many still carry scars from Communism. Pray that the love of Christ will penetrate through any wall or front that they may have built up and that the Lord will raise up a remnant within the Church and for Romania.

6. The Roma. Most of the gypsies in Romania live in ghettos and isolated villages. Pray for the growing number of Christian Gypsies as they are beginning to heed the call of serving and ministering to their own people. Also, pray that the opportunities and open doors among the Roma will continue to increase.

Walkers and Talkers

2011-07-01T10:31:00.000-07:00

A dear friend of mine and I were having a conversation yesterday morning. It's a conversation that has come up several times over the past few months with multiple people. It's one of those conversations that everyone has had at one point or another.

It's the conversation about walkers and talkers.

The well-known idioms of "walk the walk" and "talk the talk" is often thrown out there. It seems like it's extra prominent in Christian circles as fingers are pointed towards those who are walking and talking as well as those who aren't walking and talking. It's misused as people judge others but in the right manner, it's also an example to others.

Walkers and Talkers.

I've noticed that there are those who talk a lot of talk and then follow it up with their walk. There's a lot of hype building up to what they are about to do and sometimes it's exaggerated too much. Too much talking makes it hard to follow it with action. Those are the talkers.

Then, there are the walkers. I've also noticed that with walkers, they walk first and talk second. They move out in faith on what God's called them to, they do what is in front of them, take care of their responsibility and duties and then they talk about what is been done.

Neither is right or wrong. Yet, I think that it would be better to err on the side of walking than talking. In walking first, your talking is validated. In walking first, you talking is more substantial and sustainable.

It's important to talk. It's necessary in sharing what's going on and how God's moving. It's also equally important to walk. It's necessary to act upon what God has called you to and how He is ordering your steps.

Again, neither is right or wrong. It's more of a matter of aligning, synchronizing and adjusting the two different entities to function and operate as one unit.

I don't want to just walk the walk and talk the talk. I want to mesh the two together - not just walking and not just talking. But, I want my steps to reflect my words and my words to align with my steps.

The Lord is continually growing and shaping me. I'm a work in progress. But, my hope and goal is that my walk and talk will align in a way that will be honoring and pleasing to Him. And, with that in mind, I'm going to walk in the direction He's called me and then I'm going to talk about what He has done and is doing. I'm going to walk the walk and talk the talk. But, I'm going to walk first and talk second.

" Order my steps in your word..." Psalm 119:133a

100% No Guarantee

2011-06-29T22:53:00.000-07:00

My dad and I were talking tonight. I love it when we talk. With him, I don't have to explain my thoughts or my silly notions. He gets it. We think alike. A lot alike. And, I love it.

It's two and a half days before I get on a plane for a couple months with nothing more than a backpack and a duffle bag. I chattered away about how I'm so excited to live out of a bag and in a tent for the summer. It sounds silly, but that's one of the things that I'm really looking forward to over the next two months.

I showed him a few things that I had yet to talk to him about and we discussed the different possibilities. Our conversation ranged from little what ifs to some larger what ifs. What if my one and only duffle bag got lost? No big deal. It's just stuff and it will only make the adventure more adventurous. What if something was to happen? "God is the only guarantee that you have," Dad reminded.

I smiled and agreed. "You know, there are no guarantees for tomorrow. Ever. Whether I am here or there, I have no guarantee for tomorrow. If I go, I have no guarantee for tomorrow. If I don't go, I have no guarantee for tomorrow. If I go and return, you have no guarantee for tomorrow. Or if I stay, you have no guarantee for tomorrow. So, I might as well go with no guarantee for tomorrow than to stay with no guarantee for tomorrow as neither of us are guaranteed either. Right?"

We laughed at my rambling reasoning because it made all too much sense.

We are never guaranteed tomorrow. But, our guarantee is in Christ. A life lived in the guarantee of Christ is not phased by the 100% no guarantee of tomorrow. But each moment in front of us is the gift, privilege and call of duty from Jesus Christ Himself.

Sadly, most of us live as if tomorrow is guaranteed. We push the opportunity to be a blessing till later, we don't take the time to speak encouraging words to others or to share the hope of Christ to the one in front of us. We are influenced by others and affected by fear, yet... that one moment we have is the only moment we may potentially have with that person. What do you really have to loss?!

We always need to live as if tomorrow may never come. Because the truth is that tomorrow may not come. We may plan for a hundred years, but we must live as if today is our last.

So, how do you live?

Lord, You have been our dwelling place in all generations. Psalm 90:1

So teach us to number our days,

That we may present to You a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90:12

Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us;
And confirm for us the work of our hands;
Yes, confirm the work of our hands. Psalm 90:17

Car Fires and Closed Roads

2011-06-27T22:45:00.000-07:00

The plan was to go to Saddle Mountain this morning. We - four of us - piled into two cars. The first car went off to meet our friends in town. The second car (my car) picked up two cousins and headed to meet the others at the decided destination in town.

We were about two minutes away from the meeting point and this car drove past us smoking.

"Wow, look how much smoke is coming out of her car." I said, noticing how the smoke came from under the car and not under the hood.

The three guys in my car looked and agreed. Their conversation moved elsewhere.

I couldn't get over this woman driving in her smoking car. The smoke was darkening. Her body language and silloutte let on that she was oblivious to the smoke trailing her as she sped along.

Baffled, I keep talking about this woman.

"She is going to blow up. Her car is going to start on fire. I don't think she realized that there's smoke coming from her car. Wow. This is so crazy. That woman is seriously going to blow up."

I carried the conversation on with myself. The boys ignored me as I chatted away to no one and watched this woman's car smoke.

Note: this is stockphoto and not the car I saw...

We came up to a red street light and stopped. We were slightly ahead of her in the right hand lane. She sat in the left hand lane waiting for the light to change. I was perfectly position to watch her in my rear view mirror. I watched the smoke billowing out from under her car. Still, talking away about how the car is going to start on fire.

Then, I saw it.

A flame. It built.

Her car was on fire. Her car was on FIRE!

"Hey! Hey! Her car's on fire." My voice raised and I turned to my brother. "Her car's on fire! She doesn't know it! Quick! Her car's on fire!"

My brother picked up on what I couldn't say and jumped out of the car. He ran through the cars waiting for the light to turn green and approached her car. She rolled her window down. He told her that her car was on fire. At first she didn't understand, then I think she smelt the smoke.

The light turn green. She hit the gas and sped up. I watched as the flames grew with her increasing speed. She sped ahead and turned into a large parking lot. The woman and her passenger scrambled out of her car and called 911. Within moments, the police department and firemen showed up.

My brother got back in the car. There was a line of cars behind us - I could imagine they were curious as to why he jumped out of the car and what he told that woman. It didn't really matter what they thought. The woman and her passenger was safe and the danger of her car being on fire or worse had dissipated.

Ah, deep breath.

7:32am.

And, the day began...

We hit Highway 26 and headed toward Saddle Mountain. The ride was quick and went smoothly.

At the turn off for Saddle Mountain, we noticed some heavy equipment by the road. As we headed up to the trail head we saw a sign that said "Road Closed". By this time, my car was taking second. We followed our lead further - past the first sign. Then we came across a second sign that said "Road Closed." Again, we hesitated slightly and keep driving. Saddle Mountain couldn't really be closed today, could it?! We had been planning this trip for weeks with some friends from the Midwest and the East Coast.

We drove further. A third sign that said "Road Closed" was right before the open gate leading up to the trail head. The lead car hesitated as it tried to decided whether to keep going or to turn around. It was a seven-mile drive up to the trail head. We decided to keep going. My car moved to the lead.

Three "Road Closed" signs with an open gate didn't seem to deter us. "If the gate was open..." we reasoned.

About three miles up, a huge dump truck came speeding down the hill toward us.

"Um..." we all gulped as we were to find out why the road was closed and if we were potential in trouble as we knowingly passed three signs stating the very fact that the road was indeed closed.

A woman rolled down the window. I smiled. (Weak, I know.)

"The road's closed." she stated. "There's eight more trucks and a paver heading your way."

Ah, the hope of hiking Saddle Mountain today was completely diminished. "We'll turn around. Thanks!"

She rolled up her window and made her way down the rest of the hill. We turned around quickly, not wanting to be a victim of an enormous truck's wrath following in the first truck's wake. At the very base of the hill by Hwy 26, we pulled over and the nine of us spilled out of our cars to talk about what now.

We decided to head over to Neahkahnie Mountain and hike there.

Just as we were about to get back in our car, another car pulled off the road with the clear intent of Saddle Mountain. The dark tinted window rolled down and a young man peered out. "Is the road really closed?" He asked. Yep. We told him what we knew. Disappointment as we had just felt was evident in that car as well.

One of our guys told him how we were heading over to Neahkahnie and gave him directions if he was interested in that hike. The man thanked us and headed out. We piled back in our cars and - with a quick detour into Cannon Beach - headed to our new and revised hiking destination.

The morning ended wonderfully as we hiked up to the top of Neahkahnie Mountain. On our way, we saw the man from Saddle Mountain and his crew. The nine of us all thoroughly enjoyed the hike and our time together. And, the view was stunning from the top.

EKGs, Optometrists and Heavenly Things

2011-06-24T19:29:00.000-07:00

I began this blog post a week or more ago and got caught up in the busyness of life. I pulled it up today and decided to finish the thoughts I had pounded out... so, it starts off referring to how the day is overcast and lacking, but today (not ten days ago) is actually quite different. The sun is bright. The air is warm. Summer is lingering. So, don't be confused by the oddity of the first line. I left it because that's how it was, but I think it's encouraging in that it didn't stay the same. Ok. Read away, my dear friend. And, if you have thoughts on what's below, please let me know. I love feedback, conversations and dialogue.

---

It's overcast today. It's one of those days that hold great potential but doesn't guarentee anything.

This past week has been really fascinating for me.

You know when you get a new car or a new pair of shoes and it then seems that everywhere you look, you see other people with the same type as you have?!

That's kind of how this past week has been. Only... different.

Long story short.

The things that God has been speaking and teaching me are woven into nearly every interaction I have with someone - whether I know them or not.

One of the most prominent things that He has been teaching me is the most pure love imaginable. It's a love that - in my humanity, I won't ever fully achieve - but in His Sovereignty he has generously shown and given it to us.

Love is not pain free. I wish I could say it was, but it isn't. Western society and Hollywood glamorize it. They give it an unnatural face and proclaim that what you see is love. Yet, it isn't.

Scriptures, stories and examples that have been lived out before us of hardships and difficult choices that one has made on behalf of another's benefit doesn't always look lovely, yet the life lived out for someone else's benefit and selflessly stems from a deep love that is only reflective on His Love. Somehow someway when we love as He loved our capacity to love increases. The amazing thing is that He loves us as He requires us to love. He has shown me how to love. And, He is patient with me as I learn to love.

The more I love, the more I see Him move. At first I was intrigued by this curious connection, then a dear friend reminded me of Matthew 5:8.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.

Something that words cannot describe connected in my heart and soul. It was like tasting the fruit of what God has produced through that which He is doing. It drew my appetite. It made sense. It was encouraging. It was His fingerprint. And, it left me excited in anticipation to see His work in its entirety.

Be encouraged as God is working in your life. It can and will be hard at times, but He is faithful to complete that which He has started. Press into Him. Be persistent and yet patient. As He continues to mold you and craft you, He is going to open your eyes to the things He sees and you will see Him.

The Longest Day of the Year

2011-06-13T05:00:00.000-07:00

This past weekend, my sister and I were driving home together.

She had pulled out my day planner and was filling in events, plans and other little things that came to her mind.

At one point, she flipped to next week.

"Oh, next Tuesday is the longest day of the year."

"Wow," I replied as we drove through the countryside. "This month has gone by fast!"

"Yeah," she responded. "Oregonians will be mad."

"What?!"

"Well," she explained, "it's going to be the longest day of the year and we haven't had any sun. The days are only going to get shorter and we'll have less chance of seeing it."

We laughed at the truth of it - all of it. And, the conversation moved to a potential hiking trip that we penciled in the planner.

The Art of Non-Commitment

2011-06-08T23:29:00.000-07:00

A few things have been on my mind. One of which stems from a Bible study I attended last week. A friend of mine was teaching and sharing from the book of James. (James is a favorite of mine.)

As the evening progressed and the teaching honed in on the point he was illustrating, he addressed the area of commitment.

There's no question in mind that our generation - the 30-something, the 20-something - struggle with commitment. We have really created an art out of it. If one was to zoom out to the 65,000 feet above ground vantage point, it would be humorous to watch our patterns and habits when it comes to how we don't commit to commitments or we commit to non-commitments. We go half way, we commit with strings attach, we create contingency plans for opting out and on and on.

The word fear was brought up and mentioned how we are a generation fearful of committing.

And, this all got me thinking...

What is it that causes fear? Well, honestly, there's a whole list... but one thing that I realized that lack of knowledge often creates fear. Not just a lack of informational knowledge that you could Google or research, but a knowledge that stems from core values and life's experiences.

Ahhh... let me put it this way.

We - our generation - are fearful to commit to relationships. Why? We haven't seen a good example set in the generation before us. We saw a generation that was living for their own happiness. We saw a generation that said when things got tough, ugly, uncomfortable or even unlikeable, you should opt out. We saw a generation that believed things, life, people were always greener on the other side.

Relationships is just one area that commitment (or non-commitment) is reflected. Every aspect of your life holds other areas that would reflect your commitment or non-commitment.

So, here we are. A generation without a clue on how to commit.

It makes me wonder. Are we fearful for ourselves and losing our time or freedom? Or do we simply not know how to commit because we haven't seen it done well?

Just something I've been thinking about...

Road Blocks and Obstacle Courses

2011-06-06T06:59:00.000-07:00

I'm writing some curriculum for a conference and wanted to share this one part of it with you.

As we pursue what God has called us to, we will encounter difficulties. Sometimes we’ll hit road blocks that will delay us or we’ll climb through obstacles courses before we get there. What we must remember is that God’s timing is not our timing.

When we come to road blocks, it may be that He knows the road ahead unsafe or unprepared for us to keep going on the moment. He knows you’re ready and waiting. He's setting things in place on the other side. Take a deep breath and be patient.

Then there are obstacles courses, which can be frustrating as we come across one challenge or another, but again the purpose of an obstacle course is to prepare you and to strengthen you for an even greater task! Keep pushing forward! The race is not yet won!

Wherever you are at, persevere! Be encouraged. God has not forgotten where you are.

The Elephant Room

2011-06-02T12:03:00.000-07:00

The Elephant Room from Harvest Bible Chapel on Vimeo.

The Elephant Room features blunt conversations between seven influential pastors - Mark Driscoll, Steven Furtick, Matt Chandler, David Platt, Greg Laurie, Perry Noble and James MacDonald - who share a common love for the Gospel but take differing approaches to ministry. No keynotes. No canned messages. These are "the conversations you never thought you'd hear." The purpose of the Elephant Room is to model loving confrontation and gracious disagreement that honors relationship and allows diversity of opinion but stands without compromise on the revealed word of God.

These are the seven guys that I listen to perhaps the most. (John Mark Comer from Solid Rock in Portland, Oregon is the eighth.) The Elephant Room is on my to-do list. It's a conversation I want to be in on. It's a conversation I want to contribute to and to glean from. It's a conversation I want to be prepared to have with peers, colleagues, brothers and sisters-in-Christ. It's an example I want to model.

Just as Proverbs 27:17 instructs us that iron sharpens iron, so we want to sharpen each other for effective ministry.

The Elephant Room is a conference, a conversation between pastors, a Biblical insight into refining and building up each other through differences (and sometimes disagreements) where you’ll be stretched and challenged in your convictions while gaining practical insights from a variety of pastoral perspectives.